I can't even begin to fathom how it all started today. Technically speaking, I do know the roots from where my thoughts emanated and spread in my mind like wildfire, but I am still a wee bit skeptical whether or not I should let out my thought in the public domain.
Here's the deal. There is a girl in my college who is a friend of a friend of mine. This girl I mentioned, qualifies just enough to be called a friend. You know the kind of friend, who you meet/run into from time to time, exchange a few pleasantries and move on. Now, being the gentleman that I am, and after this, also a liar, I don't like to drop names. So no one gets to know who is who. Besides, I am yet to get balls of Adamantium.
So, back to this girl who happens to have become lot more ubiquitous a sight, and also thought, happened to cross my mind a few hours ago. So I did exactly what every Tom, Dick and Hari would do. Wait for it..... Wait for it...... Wait for it....... By the way, any guesses?
No points for "You checked her out on Facebook!".
Yes, I did. Lame.
What happened next was, well, lamer, if such a word exists.
As I was scrolling down this girl's page, scaling my own heights of lameness, I came across something. It was a photo. Oh yes, sir, it had the photo of the girl whom I was technically stalking virtually. What the photo also had was something that blew my head away, So now, if I look in the mirror, if I can find a mirror lying on the floor somewhere, there'll be nothing below the neck. My body might be searching for me, but I am scared that my toes will stub into my eyes while walking around during the search. Trouble is that I can't even shout, as somehow, ears were built into the head during the course of evolution. So the body without the head is basically deaf, dumb and blind. Tragic. Too much for getting your head blown away.
By the way, what I saw in the photo, apart from this girl, was... er... her friend. Uh oh. Did I feel lucky, eh, Punk? Dhhichkyaoun!
No.
I saw this friend of the friend of my friend, and forgot about my friend's friend. Wow! That sentence must hold the record for the most number of times the word 'friend' occurs in a sentence.
I at least had mutual friends with the girl I started off stalking. With this new-found friend of hers, I only have mutual strangers! No connection what so ever. I can keep aside the thought that a girl is out of my league. This one is out of my reach. She might as well have been Deepika Padukone and it wouldn't have made a difference!
What the hell am I doing? In the last couple of months, I had very firmly, with a lot of difficulty, instilled the thought into my head that
"I shall not worry about things that are beyond my control."
It didn't take half an hour to reduce all my conviction and hard work to dust. So from now, this is the new thought I shall abide by....
"I shall not worry about things beyond my control, and also about pretty faces with strong jaws beyond my reach."
It is not just this pretty face that troubles me right now. When I 'ventured' to her Facebook page, I found out that she was bonkers about photography. Not just bonkers, bloody good at it too! It looked like she had the answer to the question "What are you passionate about?". And I hate such people who know the answer to the question "What are you passionate about?" ! How, people? How? What did your parents feed you? What did you do for 10000 hours? When I confront this abominable question, "What are you passionate about?" I find myself staring at walls for hours on end, usually during class. At the end of all the thinking, I pick up some book from my bag and start reading it, or just doze off, all this while sitting on the first bench. LIKE A BOSS!! Even my professors have given up hope on me. Goodness only knows why I sit on the first bench.
Chuck all that. I have barely one more year of incubation period remaining in the place I call 'my college'. After that, it is two things, Rat race and Get-Fat race. And I look forward to neither of them!
I feel ashamed of myself right now for not having yet figured out my passion. People find their passion in photography, some in drawing, some in music, in sports, studies, research, cooking, some even in screwing with the heads of others! And I? Well, I don't know.
There is placement season going on in my college with all of us happily putting a price-tag on our own heads. Maybe that is the cause of my despair. I don't like asking Sambha "अरे ओह साम्भा! कितना इनाम रक्खे है सरकार हम पर ?" (Hey Sambha! How much has the government(read 'company') promised the bounty hunters for my head?).
And how I wish that I wouldn't be fighting myself just for the sake of living, a year from now, like I have seen my elders do.
It is like the boogeyman, who's coming to catch you. You can either run like a bitch, or you can stand and fight. And since I ain't Flash, it's time for HULK SMASH!!
In the process of writing all this, somewhere I have lost track of both the ladies I was planning to stalk. I even forgot one of their names. So that is a good sign. I'll get back to reading how inflation is affecting the country.
