Thursday, 30 March 2017

Stuff no one says

A friend of mine sent me a message which read like this.... "Don't beg anyone to be part of your life." Surely, you must have gotten the drift of what the gist of the message would have been. But yousee, here's the problem.
She walks in, bouncy hair and all, just at the time when the brain is craving for a strong shot of black coffee. Well, her arrival absolutely decimates this entity called sleep. I particularly watch my jaws drop to the other side of the globe when she makes a simple pony out of her lush curlies. For her hair then sways about like the the tail of a well-fed stallion walking in all its glory.
The heart skips a beat at her sight, the mind takes a little stroll, and her presence itself is debilitating to say the least. My ears stand up when someone utters her name, her giggle-ish laughter rings in my head, and I silently burn from within when she talks to anyone. She doesn't talk to me.

Yessir, this is the definitive case of unrequited affections, and don't ask me how we got here. Long drawn story cut short, it's a classic case of "Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck! I have no clue what to do with my fiery passions!" My plans have bombed, both in planning and in execution, a reputation must have shattered somewhere, but then again, who gives a crow's rotten arse? You see, refusals, rejections and et cetera have never been an issue. They will happen, and if they haven't happened in your case, well, wait for it. Either that, or I'd like some of what you're smoking.

Herein lies the real problem: How do you decide whether to quit, or to keep powering through the barrage of  Nos', Nays and indifference? Phew, the indifference is what really gets you, and boy, ladies are skilled in this black art. Also, you need some tremendous skill to reach a stage where a woman can just walk past you, maybe even through you. Of course, of all things, that's a skill that 'some' of us have mastered.

Each and every day, my mind pleads to me "Please stop this rubbish pursuit. It's fruitless and taxing on both the mind and heart. Plus, plus, plus and plus, your pulse racing to 180 beats per minute around someone may sound cute, but if the person is around you for 6 hours a day, it's like running a marathon everyday. Not good for the knees"
There's another friend who told me that I could never make this lady mine, no matter what I did. That was harsh, and his words still pierce me like a thousand daggers.
Another buddy of mine says that she isn't all that gorgeous. Yeah, I bet his eyes are infallible. Honestly, I pondered a bit about what he said. Then, I asked myself... So? I didn't get a response.
A part of me tells me to not back out, and I know that my selfish little ticker doesn't want to give in.
I must be going insane, because right now, I can see a weird creature floating outside my balcony. It's got a hissy voice, a bit like a snake, and it's asking me for my soul. I'll get what I want if I give my soul away, or some bollocks of that sort.
Is this what going bonkers means? Why is it that the lady you grow fond of takes that extra measure to pretend you don't exist? What about her makes you so tongue-tied? And do miracles exist? Because if they do not, SHIT! I'm doomed.