Saturday, 1 April 2017

S.O.S

From some time, this is how I feel perpetually. As though someone is trying to slice through my chest and rip my heart into sheds. There's no rest in sleep, I feel strong as fuck, yet bleak like a kitten, and worst of all - well, this hasn't changed since your very own has known existence - I abso-fucking-lutely suck with people.
I suspect that the last one has been the silent killer that has brought me to this abysmal end. Strange is the manner in which people function, which is probably the wrong way to look at the scenario anyway. Perhaps, there's a 'social' gene missing in the author, or whatever makes us the herd hunters we are. I keep wondering as to what gets people together, and well, keeps them that way. Is it gossip? Oh, I know! Sense of humour! How can I forget - a leader. An idea, a common office? Common preferences? Relatives? Oh, yes, even Tinder I suppose. Never had the heart to try that one. But yeah, being the odd one out isn't fun. Not one bit. Maybe, I'm hunting in the wrong places. Or as the few I am close to say.... you haven't met the right gang. I'm like whaaaa???

The recent Justice League trailer came as a bit of a respite. Especially the part where....
Bruce Wayne (Batman): I'm putting together a team of people with special abilities, because I see there are enemies comin......
Barry Allen (Flash): Stop right there.. I'm in.
Batman: You are? Just like that?
Flash: Yeah, I.... I need friends.
(Watch the video from 0:32 onwards)


Phew, what a relief! Even lightning fast super-heroes have people problems. I'd love to mention that even Peter Parker had a tough time around people, but yeah, that would risk going overboard.
Not that it's a case of people aversion. I like people. Just that the feelings aren't reciprocated.. Hmm I see my supposed eccentricities are playing spoilsport here.

Now, it would be rather easy to blame everyone for sticking their heads into their respective touchy devices, but heck. I still see (and envy) the ones who waltz into any surrounding, make friends and fuck off to live a life. Are they 'Alpha'? Are they 'Gamma'? 'Delta', 'Theta', 'Geeta', 'Neeta' blah blah blah? How in the world are these chaps so smooth?

There's a saying in Hindi that goes this way "तुम करो तोह चमत्कार, हम करें तोह बलात्कार।"
It reads TUM KARO TOH CHAMATKAR, HUM KAREIN TOH BALAATKAR.... That of course means: When you do it, it's a miracle, but when I do it, it's considered rape.

I'll give you a classic example of the phrase from the very pages of my yet unreleased biography.
There's a girl I'm damn fond of. Now, as with all cute girls, everyone (I know of) is unequivocally petrified of the gorgeous's father. When I asked her why so..... well... no response.
A friend of mine asked the same question to her... She was gleaming, effervescent if you may.

"Eww!! Creep alert" vs "What a cute question". Clearly, you know which side of the spectrum yours truly falls in. How do you solve this conundrum??!!
Image result for sad alone
My life positively sucks!
Maybe, there's an upshot to all of this rubbish. That's of course something that I haven't stumbled upon yet. And until I do, SOMEBODY TELL ME HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE IN GENERAL. A few expert driving lessons would help too, so would lots more money, an extra three hours everyday and lifetime supply of espresso. Well, yeah, that's about it.