One year hence (Part two: The Drive)

About 17 years ago, Akash, Sameer and Sid set out on a little road trip to Goa. Little perhaps did they know that their sojourn would become the stuff of dreams for every young Indian. Time to play hero, then.  

It was three in the morning on the 5th of April. The parents hadn't woken up, sleep wouldn't come, and one pretty face simply refused to leave my head. The plan was to leave home by 3 and reach Goa by about 1pm, or that's what Google aunty estimated. Unlike the swanky Merc SL300 that the Dil Chahta Hai (DCH) trio drove for their road trip, I was about to do the 600km run in my trusty little 47hp, Alto. Please don't tell my parents that I took the Alto. They'll faint. They'll also wonder how I made it back alive without a single scratch on the little hatchback.My dad had serious doubts about the Alto making it half-way to Goa. I, however, was confident that my little tin box, with its monumental fuel-efficiency figures and power output of a lawn-mower (power output of a fly with the AC turned on), would pass with flying colours. Aha! Let's go in THE Alto! Thank you Maruti. 
So, yeah, I managed to sneak out. Just about. Because just as I tip-toed up to my door in all my hubris thinking "Yes, I'm about to get out undetected", I hear my mom. "Where do you think you're going, little fellow?". I froze and muttered I don't know... "To get some bananas for the trip? Okay, bye mom, see you on Sunday!" And I darted for the door, with my mom's "Drive carefully!" floating somewhere in my slip-stream. 
This was going to be a solo run for the next 10 hours or so. I tanked up my lucky little machine and hit the road. Okay, for those planning a DCH trip of their own, it's pretty simple. Head out of Bombay on the Pune Expressway, and simply merge into NH48. It's a no-brainer. After the fourth toll on NH48, continue for about 25km and take a right. Soon, you'll hit Amboli Ghat, which is an absolute treat for anyone who loves a set of switchbacks. Because Amboli Ghat is left, after right, after left, after right, after a harder left, followed by a harder right, and WALLAH HABIBI! You're in Goa! This is if you have an older brother, a gang of friends and the most gorgeous woman on the planet waiting for you in Goa. That means you really want to get there as fast as possible. 

If you have more time to spare, head down the Ratnagiri route. A close senior of mine says that's a lot more scenic, although NH48 is the easier one to drive. However, I didn't. And so the Bombay-Pune Expressway-NH48 route it was. 
The stretch till Pune was familiar, of course, and by 6:30, it was done and dusted. I was only disheartened to know that the McDonalds en route wouldn't open early in the morning. My double dark hot chocolate *tears*. I had bananas on board, and so, I simply decided to chuck food stops after the disappointing halt at McD. Thankfully, the sprawling roads meant that I could make good time, and I only halted to prevent paralysis of my spine (don't try this at home). I maintained the speedo at 100, because if I went any faster, the universe would shiver and the steering would turn into cake. By some stroke of luck, I'd sorted my playlist, and the internet never failed, so the miles flew by without a fuss. Then came the Amboli Ghat. 

The most humbling feeling in the world is to realise that you are average at something. Yes, we like to consider ourselves "above average", but think of this. If everyone's above average, who the fuck is AVERAGE? Now, my driving skill has been the butt of many jokes in the past. It kind of hurt initially, but I stayed at it. So, the universe has magically kept me from running over all the pedestrians and bikers on the road. But if you drive a Dzire, a WagonR or any of the Ola-Uber cars, I swear I'll run you over on purpose. Goodness, these blokes have ZERO, absolutely ZERO road sense. Okay, back to Amboli Ghat. Wow, what a section of road! It's a proper joy ride! The Alto skidded and slid around some of the harder turns, and if I were to have someone riding shotgun, motion sickness would have raised its ugly head. So yeah, drive solo on Amboli Ghat. And boy, the scenery!

The roads, however, are narrow, and I was just lucky to get this shot. Yes, I had to turn around and park on the other side. 
Goa is a stone's throw from here. That's because I remember taking this shot at about 1pm. By 2, I was at my resort in Morjim, raring to meet my buddy, Deepak. God, hugging the bugger felt good. As I previously mentioned, he's the ONE reason that made this trip possible. In fact, the background of this little drive to Goa lies in December of 2016, when I skipped town on a whim. Had Deepak not been there then, I'd probably have headed straight to a madhouse. So here's to friends who come to your rescue. 

That's Deepak on the left. (PC: Geetus)

That's Deepak getting rogered by his wife, Namita. That happens often. (PC: Geetus)

As for the rest of the mad gang, I'd have to wait another agonising 14 hours. But with this scenery greeting me, there was little I could complain about.....

Here's Part 1 and Part 3

One year hence (Part One: Meet the Gang)

Two of our lot of six got married, so that makes us eight. Time for some introductions, but before that, a DISCLAIMER. Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

Deepak: The fundamental reason why yours truly is writing this. He's pot-bellied, hair sprouts from his ears, he's wise (well, mostly), and the only octagenarian in the gang. No, actually, he's just 32. Importantly, this gent got me into the gang about which you will read in a bit.

Namita: Deepak managed to woo this innocent soul about two years ago, and wah-lah! They are married. She looks docile, but don't be mistaken. She's quirky, fun, and when she gets pissed, Deepak runs for life. But, she's also made our old friend a happier man than I last remember. Not that he was unhappy, but now, he looks brighter. Hmm....

Krishna, a.k.a The Gentle Giant: My first point of contact in the gang after Deepak. She makes me feel like a midget. Actually, everybody makes me feel like a midget. Eh, a topic for another day. Back to Krishna. She's six-odd feet of pure heart, the one you will call without hesitation at 3 a.m. And trust me when I say this, she's got your back if you even remotely know her. And like with all members of our gang. don't leave your snacks around here. They'll be gone.

Bandar, a.k.a Monkey, a.k.a Pranthi (meaning mad woman): Ahem! Next.

Leelus: Okay, she's the only one who doesn't make me feel like a midget. The little, erstwhile untalkative woman found herself this hunk of a chap called Arun (About him in a bit) and well, they got married. Six months into their marriage, she's become a lot vociferous than most of us can remember, and (Thankfully) healthier in the right manner. Let's get something off the bat. She looks the 'Khadoos' types, perfect teacher material, but as the phrase goes, don't judge a book by its cover. Want to really see her in her elements? Get her some good old Old Monk. 

Arun: He's the handsome hunk I mentioned earlier. You see, there are some people you meet the first time and say, "Holy cow, I am jealous of this fucker's personality, but GOD would it be amazing to have him for a friend." Arun belongs to the category of chaps who clearly have their shit sorted. So, no surprise that Leelus fell for him. Equal parts fun, equal parts zen. He'll sort you out when you are punch drunk; by making you sprint on the beach. He'll care for you when you're low. Buddy, please tell me how to become like you. 

He Who Must Not Be Named (HWMNBN... Pssst his name is Yasir): He is mostly the silent types, so don't coax him into his "One-liner" mode. Because HE. WILL. SHUT. YOU. UP. AND. HOW! He's the cute chap in the gang who is not supposed to drink. He does. And then, he goes ballistic. Dangerously so, in a way that you will look for shelter from all the shit that's about to hit the fan. But then, that's the deal with pure souls. They don't have inhibitions. Plus, they have an extra set of balls which allows them to blurt out whatever the fuck they want, RIGHT in your face. Our man hates the fact that I use the word 'Fuck' as a punctuation, adjective verb, and noun. Sorry man, few habits die hard. 

Bandar, a.k.a Monkey, a.k.a Pranthi (meaning mad woman): No, can't miss this one. Geetus. That's her name. And since I grew an extra pair of balls in the last three seconds, she's the real reason I drove ten hours straight from Bombay to Goa. She's fiery, sexy, captivating, if you may. And, if you ever lay your eyes on her, you'll die doing unmentionable things to yourself. That and two very mad men WILL take your life anyway. I met Geetuson my last trip with the gang. Little did I know that she'll turn into a life-long confidant, because the first time we met, we were like fire and ice. Quarrelling like cat and dog. The rest of the gang wasn't too sure if both of us would come out of the trip alive. We did, I more alive than ever before. 

She's been the voice of sanity for the past year, the one who made me realise how uplifting the company of a gorgeous woman is. How gorgeous you ask? I wish I could tell you. But then, I'd have to kill you. 

Here's Part 2 and Part 3