Life, as we know it, has a tricky way with surprises. Surprises, more to the tune of rude shocks, the kind that can set an existential crisis snowball rolling. Now, time for a question that's (mostly) guaranteed to induce awkwardness. Do you watch porn? It's fun to watch how so many of us squirm at this question, almost as if it's a crime to watch graphic content involving human genitalia and orifices. Come on, that's a lot better than saying 'dick' and 'vagina', isn't it? Too sophisticated you are. I was asked this question at my workplace, that too by a senior I admire. DURING WORK HOURS. "Do you watch porn?"
"Absolutely sir!" I blurted, a little to my own surprise. "Excellent answer!", he replied. I felt a strange sense of satisfaction, pride if you may, that day because there was no squirming involved. Even more so because the rest of the office shifted in their seats uncomfortably.
A few days later, the shocker came. I was watching this gorgeous, voluptuous woman undressing on my screen. This guy walked in, wagging his enormous pecker, and that's when the woman looked into the camera and said something that, for lack of better words, scarred me. She said, "You sit there jerking off while I fuck this gigantic cock for real!"
My world collapsed on itself like a dying star, turning into a life-sucking black hole in the fabric of my existence. Yes, that line was more a blow to my ego than anything else, but boy, that shit hurt. Thankfully, there was an upside to that sucker-punch. I'm off porn, as would be most men who witnessed the abovementioned gorgeous woman's borderline contemptuous, positively scathing remark. Please don't tell me you're into such a thing; boy, where's your self-esteem?
The vision of the woman delivering the dialogue did replay in my head when my girlfriend said tata to me recently. Just that this time, the woman's face was replaced with the face of my girlfriend. Yup, that pinched like a bitch, but that's how inter-gender dynamics are supposed to be I guess. And finally, we are here to fuck, so let's not be crass or bitter about it. That's yours truly partly rationalising a heartbreak, but anyway.
But let's get back to the topic of pornography. It's not going to do you any good. Agreed, you aren't doing anyone any harm, it's just you, your hands, your pecker, or your vagina, the screen and your devices (if you use any) left to your own device. You do the deeds, feel good about it for 5-30 seconds and that's that. Yes, we men have to deal with the infamous post-masturbation dip in self-esteem, but most of us get along after that just fine. Or do we?
Think of this. You're horny, so you pick up your device, go to your favourite site, watch a video, or a string of them, rub one off, and then you pretty much sit back and relax. You have gotten your dopamine hit, the chemical that gives your brain the 'feeling good' feeling with zero effort. Let this routine set in for long enough and you're looking at issues, issues that can cause trouble. Lack of motivation, poor self-control, and if you are a chronic user, deteriorating social skills is a possibility too. None of this is to scare you, it's all from personal experience. Plus, the dopamine hit I mentioned about earlier, well that's got another problem. Dopamine works a bit like caffeine. The more you're exposed to it, the more you need it, so over time, the amount of porn you need for arousal will ramp up,. The first clip, the second, and the subsequent ones that are so conveniently clickable will slowly fail to satisfy you, which means you're losing more time in front of a screen. That's time you probably could have invested in getting better at something, perhaps meeting a real human of the opposite sex. If that's not enough, porn is likely to mess with your relationships too.
Not convincing, I know. And hence, I urge you to do some digging of your own on the effects of porn on the brain. You will be blown away. It's through some digging of my own that I discovered something called the NOFAP movement. The concept of the NOFAP movement, as the name suggests, is to refrain from porn and masturbation. You can have as much sex as you want though, just clarifying. Now, that may sound ludicrous to many, but this shit works. It's no magic pill to your worldly woes, and some of the benefits you get from it are possibly psychological, but come on.
The benefits? Better focus, calmer mind, lesser time on the phone (we all could use this one), more drive to do stuff (since the dopamine now comes only after you have actually done something, so you strive more), and (strangely) a bigger pecker. The last one was a shocking bonus that I felt after about a month or so into NOFAP. It feels good.
Disclaimer: NOFAP is not an organisation, and I don't get paid to tell you, the discerning reader, any of this. Just another human wading through life and figuring my shit out. Take what advice seems useful and skip out on the rest. Here's something I'd like to leave you with.
Go out and do something amazing with your lives, be nice to people, and I will catch up with you later. - Brian Alsruhe (Coolest strongman on Youtube)
