Touchy feet+Intellectual Begger+filmy feeling!!

And at last, something out of the usual to put down! Here's the one time when things went exactly according to plans. Of course there's always the "Well, almost."

There's something about the conversations we all in general have on Facebook, that I would like to add here, as out of place it may seem.When we are in the middle of a Facebook 'chat' that has been going on for a few days, there's this strange inexplicable anticipation from the other end that develops inside the head, I guess, specially when you secretly look forward to running into the person on the other end, in reality. Moving on.

Three days filled with fun, amazement, nostalgia and loads, loads, loads.. loads of food and a bit of that above mentioned eager anticipation throughout, specially on the last day, were to follow. And it wouldn't be far from right to say that all of it was expected.

Having reached the college a couple of days before all the hustle and bustle, it was a breeze completing all the formalities of getting into the next semester. After that was done, I joined two of my fellows for a long due trip to Palakkad, the home to half my ancestry.For th next three days, this song 'Khwaabon ke Parindey' form the movie 'Zindagi Naa Milegi Dobaara' stayed the only song in my mental playlist, that too in a loop.

A hop onto a train, and two and a half hours later, I stood on the  Olavakode station platform, a few meters away from the place where I remember spending hours of my evening as a kid with my grandpa, watching trains pass by. A small flashback here..

I am pretty close to my grandpa, whom I fondly call 'Dadaji'. As a kid, I visited him during vacations. Nothing unusual here. For some strange reason , he and I had a very strong rapport. On my visits to his place, he took me out for evening walks saying "Wa da, train kaannan pua"(Come on, let's go out to watch some trains...). He knew it was something I looked forward to. And I don't exactly remember how I developed a fondness for watching trains go by. So, at a place, a bit before the station platform, there was a small railway crossing, just enough to barely allow a few people, maybe a bicycle or a motorcycle to cross the tracks. I stood there with my Dadaji, sometimes, on his shoulders, watching train after train pass in front of us. I still ask myself why I did that. I just get no answer. Besides, I remember myself as a kid saying, "Dadaji, Eniyum uru train"(Dadaji, just one more train) each time it was supposed to be our last train. Strangely, I don't remember a single occasion when he got annoyed of, what now sounds like a very weired request.

So more than a decade after making my grandpa wait for virtually hours at that meek little crossing, I was back to the same place. Well almost, considering the small distance between that railway crossing and the platform I mentioned earlier. Never the less, the nostalgia was more than enough to get me to call Dadaji. He was ecstatic to find that I still remembered all of it. I clearly remember his happy voice over the phone. Not a bad start to a 3 day trip, not a bad start at all!

Traveling through the streets of Palakkad, it was waves of nostalgia, lashing left-right-and-center. But beyond a point, even the nostalgia got nauseating. So I gave it a chuck!.

Back at my friend, Daasa's(Aaditya), Nayan and I settled into his room. The next three days, I was going to be the cleanest I would be for all the life I have lived, and very likely all the life I am going to live. A bath twice a day is a MUST! It will be a safe move to leave this topic without getting into intricate details of my personal hygiene routine.

Moving on to all the moving around we did, we didn't do much moving around on the first day except for the train journey.

I haven't exactly had a 'boys only' trip of any kind before this, most of my trips involving err.... family crowd, but this one would be something like 'Dil Chahta Hai' with all the driving done by Daasa's father... And I am not complaining.

By the way, on the first evening, Daasa's father had proposed a morning outing to the park nearby, something Daasa had warned us about, and threatened  us against agreeing to. But then, who's afraid? The proposed time was 5:30 am. I couldn't sleep a blink after 4:45 am out of excitement. A new track, fresh morning air, what more can you ask for a start to the day? After our small sweat session, we were walking back to Daasa's place. There was this sound that came out from a very unexpected place.... and it wasn't from any of our backsides. What we heard, sounded like "Could you please give me some change, if it wouldn't be inconvenient to you?". The guy who said this was...... wait for it.... wait for it.... A beggar!!! The most sophisticated one I had encountered yet.

The first thing that crossed my mind was "Wow, even our beggers take Kerala's 100% literacy rate rather seriously!". But it saddens me that a lot of our potentially employable crowd is loitering around, unnoticed, whatever be the reason. I spent the remaining way to Daasa's place hoping we wouldn't run into another eloquent begger. 

After reaching home, I suddenly got this idea of going to the terrace of the house. Apart from my decision to spend 2 days at Daasa's, this was the best decision I had taken in the two days I spent there. The view from the terrace was tranquilizing. Although I couldn't see the Nilgiri range of mountains, as I could from my grandpa's home, the view of the horizon was refreshing. Add to that the fact that neither Nayan, ,nor Daasa followed me upstairs, it felt like 20 minutes of meditation. Those few moments felt exactly ripped out of a movie scene. Call me a narcissist, but in my mind, my hair was all stylishly flying and fluttering in the wind, like that of some bad-ass bloke sitting at the edge of a cliff. A bad-ass bloke sitting peacefully on the edge of a cliff, sipping a cup of piping hot coffee might sound like a contradiction, but all of it felt good! 

The rest of the day was bliss!

After all the morning running-around, our run-in with an intellectually superior beggar, a bath,  and amazingly amazing home cooked food, which we stuffed ourselves with, it was time for an outing. Uncle(Daasa's dad) dropped us off at MALAMPUZHA! It's one of the places I used to visit almost every time I visited my grandparents. But this kind of a 'Boys' day out' was a first.

After fooling around with, putting our heads into, and riding a ginormous crocodile made out of rocks, we decided to leave the croc to it's peaceful Tuesday-Morning solitude, as it was a Tuesday morning. Ever since we had arrived in Palakkad, the winds had been particularly strong, and cool. So despite the brightly shining sun overhead, the heat wasn't exactly an issue. After waling all around the Malampuzha garden, we climbed onto the Dam. On one side, there was this beautiful garden, on which, some 300 Crores had been spent for it's beautification, primarily a high-tech fancy 'looking' entry to the garden. That was all there was to the beautification. On the other side of the dam, there was this vast expanse of water, namely the Malampuzha river. For the sake of GK, it is a tributary of the Bharata Puzha(River).

The view from the top of the dam was 'damn' good. With kites playing in the wind all around above us, trying to reach higher by riding on thermal drafts or trying to stay still in the air against the strong winds, it was all worth capturing on camera, that is, in case one had a good camera. Again, in case......

The dam was also 'damn' long!. A lot longer than I had expected it to be. You see, when you're with your family, your mobility is pretty much restricted to your family's movements. Out of somewhere, a cranky kid starts crying because his hat/pants flew away, the girl wants to fix her hair as they too are flying in the strong wind, one more uncle says that walking in the wind feels like resistance training, someone else is having some other random problem, and the list goes on..... and on! When it's three fellows with raging hormones, even if one of them has a bit too much of 'surface area', it doesn't really slow a gang of three.

The three of us walked, sprinted and climbed our way all around the dam. The long straights on the dam caused a very strong urge to sprint the entire length of the dam, and I had no intentions to quell my urges. Running against the wind was like running through a cake. It gave a new meaning to the phrase 'it was a cake-walk'. Okay, sorry, it was a cake-run. Thankfully, Nayan too was quite excited with the prospects of running through cakes. So, the two of us got into our elements and got going! Daasa didn't exactly share our enthusiasm for cake-running. He was more busy eating the cake, I guess.

Nevertheless, we got to on of the 'far ends' of the dam, just to discover that we were about half way through it's whole length, as far away, we could see the dam extending farther away. So we were like "Let's chuck it, we'd rather get back and watch a beautiful King Cobra." 

Next stop, the Snake park. Daasa is fond of snakes. But Aunty(His mom) isn't. And hence, he seldom gets to go to the snake park. And that's exactly where we stepped in. For Company.....

From what I had heard about the snake park from Daasa in his earlier mentions of it, in my imagination, the place was this wild forest with a glass tube cutting right through it, for the protection of visitors, and snakes wreathing, wiggling, twirling and turning all around, outside the tunnel, of course. And what the place turned out to be, although only from the looks of it, was a children's park with a few chambers and glass boxes thrown in. Again, that was from the looks of it, and Looks... Are Deceptive! For instance, as much as the guy looks like Tom Criuse in the mirror, everyone knows the truth. 

Coming back to dangerous creatures in the park, they were all around! I was just hoping that another one wouldn't come out from someone's pants!! Okkay! Sorry!! Bad JOKE!!

But the park fellows had a joke ready for us. At the entrance of the park, there was this wall describing all about snakes, their names, their usual prey, their typical habitat, and stuff. There was this one rat-eating snake, who's name I cannot recollect. Apparently, the snake typically lived in people's houses.... So where did the people live?

Soon, we were all tired of all the jokes we cracked, and decided it was time to head home. So that's what we did. Back at home, we watched the James Bond's 'Thunderball', the movie that virtually added the jet-pack into our imagination. I slept during the movie.

At around 5 in the evening, it was time to get out again! We basically moved out to check out some second-hand books. On our way, Nayan found his love. It'd been a while since he had started his search for something with lots of chocolate in it. And here we were, standing outside a shop selling 'Dark Chocolate Mousse'. All three of us have a penchant for dark chocolate and coffee. As a matter of fact, we barely escaped getting into an argument with Uncle(Daasa's dad) about how coffee is not good for the body.

After that, I specifically insisted on heading straight for the book store, as I am STINGY AS HELL!!! Specially when I realize that I will soon run out of cash.

At the bookstore, I ran into this cult novel 'Zen and the art of Motorcycle Maintenance'. I didn't want another thing! Thankfully, the book store had a second copy of the book, which kept Daasa and me from getting into a wrestling match over the book. Getting out of the bookstall, I felt like a 5 year-old girl who had just gotten hold of her favorite Pink dressed/haired Barbie doll. I actually held onto the book, refusing to put it into the carry-bag that Nayan was holding. But at on point not much later, I got a feeling that I was being a bit too touchy with the book. So I popped the book into Nayan's bag.

We headed to Daasa's grandmom's place. There, more eating followed.One thing happened here. While we were leaving, Nayan did the most atrocious thing he ever could have. He went and touched Daasa's grandmom's feet to show off the  cultural values his parents instilled in him!!! It was one of those "That Moment When....." moments, which have gained popularity on Facebook. I am particularly not fond of this 'touchy-feet' custom, and had no intention to touch Daasa's grandmom's feet. And so, I didn't. I feel a bit uncultured, but not that comes in the way of my peaceful existence. Then we headed back to Daasa's home. That episode was still further followed by more eating. At the end of the day, I felt like a stuffed chicken! Then it was another night's sleep, as the next day, we were headed back to college.

In the morning, after a good breakfast from Aunty, we got ready. I was opening the gates of the house for Uncle to get his car out, when I suddenly had this strong sense that Nayan would go and touch Aunty's feet! I just turned around to go and tell him not to do so, and there the bugger was, doing exactly what I was going to plead against... Arsehole!

I walked up to Aunty. I am not exactly the 'huggy' types. I somehow managed to give her a hug. I wish I had given her a more tighter, warmer hug. In the car, while on our way to the station, I felt as if I had just lost that one rare chance to hug my mom tight, whom I usually never hug on my way out of my home, out of my shyness. It's kind of a strange feeling. The last three days couldn't be summed up in better words than those of Nayan's. "It is now that I feel I am leaving home after vacations"......

I got a brand new girlfriend.

Yeah! Can you believe it? She said 'Yes'. It all happened in a blur. It still seems like a blur. From somewhere, I got the courage to muster up my courage to approach her. Even in my imagination, I would have found that hard to do, but I did. Somehow. Classes got over for the day. Fortunately, as I was getting out of my class, I just saw her come out of hers.

I walked towards her, thinking each moment “Shit! Shit! What the hell am I doing?”. For some odd reason, she looked in my direction. I bloody well froze! There was only one line blaring inside my head that sounded like “Man! You are so done!”. I was weak in my knees. I was weak in every joint, muscle and cell of my body.

Somehow, I stepped forward, noticing that she'd noticed me approaching. I had a feeling that she was thinking something like “Not this bloke. Not now! Please!”. Never mind, I just rolled up my sleeves, lifted my collar, in my imagination of course, and somehow dared to take a few more steps forward. And then I blurted out something.

Whatever I blurted out, must have been something pretty awesome and mind blowing, because the next scene I remember in the sequence of events that followed, is where she smiles at me and says 'Yes'.

I guess I asked her if she thought that I was an ass. Well, that's a reasonable explanation for her agreement. But if I correctly remember, the next thing I asked her was if she'd mind accompanying me for a cup of coffee

She said 'No'. As in, No, she didn't mind doing so. If I'd had a mirror in my hand at that time, I swear, I'd never look at my face. I would have been wearing that ugly smile that I have at times when I can't limit the size of my smile within the constrains of my face.

Now, I was Daredevil! I asked her if she trusted me. Sometimes, there are these moments when you become invincible, or at least inside your head, your t-shirt seems to bulge from all the right places, there suddenly appears a sigh of hope in the shape of a diamond on your chest, preferably red in color, the sigh that looks like an 'S' to ordinary humans, and you get the feeling that if you jump hard enough, you are ready to fly. That's how I felt when I asked her if she trusted me. She uttered a shy 'Yes'.

Man! I was flying. Dhan Te Dan! I'm SUPEMAN!

Suddenly, all my memory gets scrambled, and all of a sudden, I am sitting in this quaint little café with her. I'll tell you what the place looked like. That's the one thing, probably the only thing I find myself capable of describing. The walls were warm-red. The ceiling was a dark gradient of yellow, the kind you'd like on a Lamborghini. There was a balcony to the right of our table. There was a sliding glass door separating the insides of this café from all the dust and grime coming through the balcony from the main road outside. A mat made of straw and cane just hung beyond the glass doors to break the sun's rays. The walls were covered with all sort of enlarged retro-type photos. It all lent a very easy air to the place. The only cocky part of the café was it's name... 'Chill out Café'.

It was quiet. Very cozy. It was the kind of place that was hidden in plain sight, and intentionally left so. I don't remember much except for the warm coffee going down my throat and the even warmer silence between the two of us. It kind of made the cozy feeling a bit overwhelming.

I wanted to ensure that she trusted me, because such places seem a bit secluded. I didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

The only thing I remember next is these three noisy blokes who entered the café. They bloody well destroyed the sanctity of that quiet little haven. The shortest one among the three was like a bloody noisy tyrant! The three folks looked like kids from the nearby college.

I remembered how I had quite recently come to this place myself, accompanied by two of my friends, one of who, recommended it highly. All of a sudden, the noise coming from those three fellows started to rise. It looked as if their voices were being controlled by a volume dial, and someone was obviously turning that dial rightward. The noise was continuously rising.

I couldn't understand what was happening. I noticed that she was saying something to me. I wasn't able to figure out what it was that she was saying, although. Somehow, the rising noise wasn't getting to her. Or could she not hear it? I was starting to get a headache. For some reason, the now shrilling noise sounded all too familiar.

I felt my hand subconciously searching for my cell phone. No, I wasn't getting a call. I had learned from too many articles that it is wise to switch off all sources of disturbances, being the mobile phone, when you happen to have the rare opportunity to be with your lady-luck. So, the wise one that I am, I had taken that precaution, early on.

As for the sound, it was getting shriller by the moment. Somehow, I managed to stop that cacophonic alarm. I squinted at the screen of my cell phone to check the time. 3:30 in the morning? What the hell?

Bollocks!!I have that shitty review article to finish! Shit! Shit! Shit! This sad life of mine! I can't even be happy in my dreams!

And if I don't finish that article by 9:00 today.....Oh! I even have that other assignment! Brilliant!

Squeezing it out

It was about 6:50 am when a friend came asking my room-mate to join him for a run. It had been a while that I'd been up. So I decided to join these two folks for a morning sweat-session.
My room-mate had been itching to take his new scooter, that he'd got from his brother, out for a little 'test ride'. So we were off.
Very usual morning, very bright, perfect lighting. It never makes you want to stop.
We reached the ground. The grass had fresh dew on it, sparkling in the morning sun. Our rounds began. One round, the second, the third.. Yeah, I know that the fourth won't come before the third, but then anyways.

There's something about going round and round that makes things very...mundane. Specially on flat tracks. It ain't a means to an end, besides, it doesn't have an end. Sure, there's a beginning point and you encounter that point a dozen-or-so times before you start wondering what on earth are you doing, going round and round. In Hindi, the word for this feeling is घनचक्क (Pronounced as Ghanchakkar). And I don't like that word particularly.

I like hilly terrain. All the ups and downs, the badly laid roads, they go a long way in making the whole sweating job more exciting. Either that, or a straight road, pointing at the horizon, not giving you a clue as to where you are going. Something like this,

But by the way, doing 'rounds' is no easy thing. It is indeed very difficult to motivate yourself, and keep yourself motivated while doing something boring.
So, by the time we finished covered the ground 4 times, I was done doing 'rounds'.
And I didn't want to sap the other two of their motivation. So I left the place for another trail which is a hilly type of a trail. I go there often, when I feel bored. It's got a few really dirty climbs that really kill you. It all went fine, just that for some reason, I felt very slow.
Sometimes, there are things that occupy your thoughts without you knowing what they are, but they don't fail in making you feel heavy nevertheless.. Probably there were too many things that were gushing in all-at-a-time while I was at my ground pounding. So taking a break from civilization looked like a good call. Enter 'The Trail', the same place I mentioned, where I go when I get really bored. It's a typical hilly countryside place. Unlike the usual, where if you are running, there will be people staring at you like you are a bloody alien. On the other hand, this trail of mine, it doesn't make you feel like you are on Mars, just allows you to breathe some fresh air.
The 'Agenda for the day' was to not stop, no matter what, till I had gone the distance I had in mind, specially after understanding that legs weren't going to move any faster. At least that was one thing I was happy about, for having stuck to.
I came back to my room, got rid of my socks. Goodness,  they could kill a man! The stench! Now, comes the good part. I went to the washroom, pulled my shirt off, and did something I had been wanting to do for a while. I wrung my shirt, squeezing out as much of my sweat out of my shirt as possible. Wow! It looked like a freaking waterfall! I wanted to do this, specially after watching this movie called 'Bhaag Milkha Bhaag', where the lead fellow, did something similar to fill up buckets with his sweat. There was this voice inside my head, almost in a taunting tone, saying "Yeah, man! You'r getting there!!"
It felt good though. 

Wolo molo wonder!

Yupp!! Today's a rare one. For a change, things haven't, proverbially so called, HIT THE SPOT, but, today, looks like the spot just increased it's radius.

Usually, this is how things start.

I am being chased by the hound of Baskervilles. I am running as hard as I can to keep my backside from falling into the hound's mouth. Then, there's this guy somewhere behind, on a horseback, whirling his lasso, aiming for my head. I don't know the scene exactly behind me. I guess I am drunk at this point. I can hear a whirling sound...which in my mind is the lasso. I hear this panting sound, accompanied by ferocious grunts..which in my imagination, should be the bloody hound. And, if I am not mistaken, I hear the taps of the horse's hoof. Mind you, that's the only sound, that of the hoof, that sounds pleasant... It sounds athletic. The remaining sounds remind you of some sort of frantic desperation.... Even your own breath. Oh! I almost forgot. A nuclear explosion is happening in my chest, each time my heart is beating.

All of a sudden, I just feel this 'thing' falling in front of my eye. It feels like a blink. But I didn't blink! The next thing I feel is a hard tug around my neck. For a second, I see the entire chain of events that is about to follow any moment. THEN...I feel the jerk around my neck.

I throw my hands in front to escape whatever it is behind me. I sit propped up on my bed, eyes wide open, heartbeat shooting through the roof, and my hands straight ahead of me, like a zombie.

I look around. Two of my room mates are staring at me. Apparently, I made a loud noise, while in the process of getting into my 'sitting-zombie' position.

That is how it usually begins..Exaggerations aside, obviously.

The start today wasn't different.

Okay. I look out of the window. Ah! Bright and shiny! For some reason, the phrase 'rise and shine' appears on this red neon sign inside my head. The blinking type neon sign. It looks more like an emergency SOS call.

A standard thought haunts me again. "Oh my goodness!! There's so much to do in life! And the day passes away like the wind! How will I do all that I want, and must?"Mom and dad must be thinking, Oh, what must our son be doing? He's just got another year-and-a-half of merrymaking in college! How, rather what will the fellow do after that?". I forcibly chuck the thoughts aside.

I performed all the morning rituals to purge myself. Then I headed out. Again, it was nice and shiny. There's something about the morning sun, no matter how hard hitting it is, that makes you feel very cozy in your clothes. I wash my hands in the sun's light. I felt this warmth on my palms...this slow heat. I could stand there literally the whole day. I almost ended up doing something like that.

I got late for the class in the process. Nothing special for the next two hours, except for the fact that I was able to grasp what was being explained. My friend, Jenifer was doing the explaining the whole thing. It was good.. I don't know why I am saying what I am about to say, but she's a good person to have for a friend, this girl Jenifer.

Lunch time! Yaaay!!! It's a Friday! Chicken!!!!! Yeah, so that's over. Then what? Oh ya, then the day's main attraction! First steps into forming a club in the college! TEDxNITCalicut's the name. Now there's something exciting! It seems like a dream taking shape. Another club, the Music Club,  I wanted to be inside, looks like an elusive dream. Chuck it... Not exactly. Any ways, moving on.

There's something about about waiting for people to turn up, that is extremely irritating. You feel a complete loss of control over your life! Specially f you are waiting for some permission of sorts.

You see, there's a permission for everything. Permission for running, for not running, for standing still, going to take a leak (remember class 4, 5, 6 or 7? Or for that matter, even now?). Thankfully, I was along with my mate, Nayan. He's like the stable(mentally) one among the two of us.

It ass sounds pretty vague. The whole thing. I mean, everything sounds so abstract. Looks as though someone gave bottles of colored water into a kid's hand and left him to his/her devices. Obviously, the kid knew how to open the bottles.

So, now it's back to the room. It's about 3. Middle of the day. Some looking into books was in order.  That was that. Then, the Phantom of the Opera looked short enough to finish in 15 minutes.

Poor guy, the Phantom. All he wanted was a lady to love him and be his wife. A lady did start to love him. Okay, she didn't exactly fall for his yellow face with black holes for eyes. But she somehow loved him and agreed to love him, and wed him(Wow! Now, I guess anybody stands a chance!!).. Sounds like a contract. Nice. I mean, for the Phantom. So what does he do, after the lady agrees to wed him? He leaves her to the guy she loves. And suicides. Arsehole! So the whole thing was an experiment.

Aim:To figure out if a lady could love the Phantom.

 Procedure:

1-Get hold of a girl who wants to sing.

2-Make her famous.

3-As she'll feel indebted to you for your deeds, she wants to repay you.

4-So you tell the lady to show you some love, despite the fact that you are hell-as ugly!(Oh! Did I mention, that a prerequisite for the experiment is that you need to be ugly as hell??)

5- If the girl disagrees, catch the guy, the girl likes, and threaten to kill him.

6-If the girl still disagrees,

6.a) Bad for the guy you caught

6.b) You may just have caught the wrong guy, so again, Bad for the guy you caught.

6.c) If the girl agrees, leave the girl and the guy to do their thing. Tell her it was a joke. Firstly, she'll kill you. But who gives a shit anyway? You already had plans to suicide after the guy and girl left the stage.

Sad shit!

A message to the Phantom: Dude, did you have the brains stuck up the wrong place??? Huh?

I look through another course book. Head out for a run. Come back , having happily hit my target, in spite of a 3 day bout of laziness. Then I sit down to gather my day onto a page. And Woalah! I just got over with about 1100 words! Phew! Must have been a long day! At least I am thankful that a few more hours remain.

And I got this new ear worm today. Ghulmil-Ghulmil Launda!!

Gone perfectly wrong!

We are all in the search of perfection. The perfect job, the perfect partner, roommate, car, bike and in short, life. There are although, very tricky forces on the playing field. And they are all overweight. And hence the phrase 'level grounds' go right down the commode. Okay, let me stop crying in the first place, about how unfair things are, or can be.

It was a perfect day until it began. As usual, by the time anything began, it was 5 in the evening. So thumbs up to that. There are days when you think that things are all fine, and then PLONK!! Gone! POOF!

So it all starts with running around. Let me talk like an Englishman for a change by talking about the weather. It wasn't the brightest. I mean, It wasn't as bright as it was 15 minutes ago. Cloudy and stuff. So you see, the weather screwed the things up!!

But my partner and I went running anyways. Nature's elements! I tell you!

Now, who the HELL is whistling the 'Godfather' tune in the corridor!!???? Bloody hell!! No! It's "Balloday 'ell"... We are trying to be British. Forgot?

Okay, so the weather was screwed up, I mistakenly thought that I was in a mood for a run, and so many other things. Oh! Almost forgot! My partner was on a roll. I mean, his speed and stuff was propelling him a lot forward than  mine was propelling me! Brilliant. There is ONE more thing. Okay, this is a bit of a 'private emotion problem' kind of a thing. More than emotion, it's more like 'private Motion problem' kind of a thing, you see. Hope that was suggestive enough. I mean, you didn't really expect me to say that I was having 'Down-loading' issues, now, did you? Wow! Man, I should get into Stand-up comedy!! You see, I like standing. I just don't like being left standing.. Any ways, bad jokes aside, let's come back to the RUN.

So today, in the very beginning, my partner was like "Let's take it easy today." See?? See?? It's like the whole world was conspiring against me from the very beginning!! Hell to you! And before that? A crow downloaded... Now THAT is the only time in my life where I didn't have to wait for a download. Did I mention that I was under the crow? Ah!! Now you see.... I mean, Don't you?

Yeah, enough digression. So running running, strangely, I didn't feel like it any more. Hmm... That's what I call 'magical realization'! And then it was like tumbling Domino's. Now herein lies the problem. The domino's didn't take more than 30 minutes to fall. At least if they had, things would have been a lot more 'free'. So there comes an incline! Yessss!!! I love inclines... Specially the 'going-up'/climbing ones. Things that move in all their glory down-hill or on flat grounds, they wither away at the sight of an upward slope. Good for me... Thankfully, this climb was the only time in the entire day where I felt like a warrior(a.k.a myself). Ooooooh!! I so love to put myself on a pedestal! So I was playing 'Catching up'. I caught up to an extent. And then the slope got over... Hmmm.... I don't know why though, I couldn't push  myself today as I usually can. So End of the slope. I was like... "What the hell!". The end was close. I could see my buddy right up ahead, and then for some inexplicable reason, I stopped 50 meters before finish line. Now here's the funny part.

She appeared. Exactly when I felt things could go wrong no more. If you have seen the movie Inception, you remember Leonardo's wife turning up at exactly the perfectly wrong time. Now my 'She' just happened to have done that today.I usually light up at her sight. But not today!!! Helll!!!!!!!

I am just happy that she smiled. Although now, I feel that I should have gone into overdrive mode on the slope, beaten my partner on our race to the finish line, crossed the imaginary red ribbon first and gone and given her a hug, maybe a peck on her cheek(Okay, maybe not that..I mean you can only ask so much, you see...although you never know.) and shouted, "Yo! Adrian! We did it!!".

Alas...

You see, It happens. Shit happens!

Things..As usual

You know what? Uncertainty is a good thing. Yeah, I know you don't know this. And then, there's is something that comes into play by itself without anyone's permission. Imagination. It is like an uninvited guest in any event, the event preferably being a marriage. Don't ask 'Why only a marriage?'. I don't know. It's probably because an uninvited guest in a marriage sounds inherently extra cheap. Forget the guest... We were on 'imagination'.

So, something is going to happen. It may be inside you, around you...or maybe in any and every place that my head doesn't want to be seen imagining. And the good thing is that you want it to happen. But, between all things that have happened and all that haven't, there are too many butts. Okay, no comprehensive descriptions of the derrieres that may have come by, by the way.

Confusing so far? The writer will also feel that way, if he happens to have the mind to read the above paragraphs.

Let's take an example of an event that has no relation to the paragraphs above. It wouldn't help understand the situation above...or who knows? It just might. You see, sometimes, even a wrong train takes you in the right direction. I most definitely have no clue how that works, but I shall get back to that, the next time the moon turns blue. (Dear Moon, please hold your breath long enough, like they do in Tom & Jerry).

Example:

There's this selection going to happen for the Music club of your college.

Most of the fellows(The MEMBERS) in the club happen to  be close friends.

You intend to be one among them.

So you do all the acrobatics with the guitar, your larynx, pharynx and all the stuff, stuffed in your neck,

And all the world conspires to materialize your dream by cutting down on the number of people giving the auditions.

You go to the auditions, realizing that for the first time, the universe has conspired and all that 'filmy stuff'....

All the adrenaline of the planet has somehow entered your blood stream.

Your heart is pounding like a freaked out war-horse.

Some people keep going in and out of the auditioning room.

You look around, surprisingly calm on the surface.

The ticker is still pounding inside, turning the contents of your thoracic cavity(the CHEST!) into pulp.

Then, some more people go in and out. And then some more,....ANNND some more go in and out.

You're like okay, my number could be up anytime... Anytime now...in a few moments.

Then there's this arse who looks at you, calls you, and when you go to him, he says "Who called you? I was calling the guy behind you!"

And you're like...."SHIT!!"'

Such situations are kind-of embarrassing. I mean, the 'You-going-when-the-guy-behind-you-is-being-called-and-hence-making-an-ass-out-of-yourself'' type situation. Fine, today, there's this new found patience you find within all that...err...flesh(I'd like to show modesty by not using the word muscle...it kind of spoils the whole scene...)

So you wait.

And when the last 2 people(including yourself, of course) are left, you get called. Surprisingly, you aren't one bit pissed(How?? HUH??).

You go inside, do few things right, a bit of your acrobatics goes awry....I mean most of it goes awry.. You manage to pull off something decently in the name of saving your face, scarring it anyways. So now, you're Scarface! Thumb up! But somehow, Al Pacino dying in the movie Scarface(Like in all his movies) sort-of makes you feel miserable. Eh!! Screw it! Who gives?

Sometime later, you come back to your room, write a lot about what just happened, about how some mysterious forces kept your near and dear ones(most of them) from seeing you in times of peril, somehow, hoping to get a call for round 2. You see, hope's a bitch! But it stays by your side no matter what.

So now, I sit and think...."Since I haven't mentioned anything controversial, anything about chicks or anything controversial about chicks, no one's going to read up to this line anyways. So let me not publish it in the first place!"

I go back to some video I was watching... This guy is showing some new method to tie shoelaces correctly. Considering that tying my shoelace is a life-skill I thought I had nailed(probably the only life-skill), this 51 year old just  came and destroyed my considerations!

Oh! Hell!! It seems I just got a call for round 2!! Yaaaaayyyyyy!!!

I am supposed to be jumping around right now.... Chuck it!!! Let's just end this one right here..

"It's over!"

Inside stuff

I mean, there's a lot of things going on. I am sitting near the window once, staring out at things, never knowing what I am looking at, or looking for. I am just looking. Then I look down. Very weird feeling.. shaky feeling. It's like you are thinking of jumping off, but you are afraid of slipping. Then you think that if anyone gets to read your head, he/she will surely think of you as a psycho with suicidal tendencies, where as in reality, you are hoping that no one thinks that way about you, as you have no plans to jump off in the first place. 

While at the window, I hear this guy. He sounds exactly like someone you know....Knew, actually. He's chanting in a procession. He's leading this bunch of fellows to the beach. The whole thing, all procession and stuff is being carried out to bid farewell to a god. They are going to drown him. The god. Yeah. Sounds funny. They are all happy. 10 days of devotion. The moment 10 days are over, drown the god. Keeping him is becoming an expensive affair. अतिथि  देवो भवः (Atithi Devo Bhava).The way the words go,  a guest is like god. But beyond a point, अतिथि, तुम कब जाओगे ?(Atithi, tum kab jaaogey?), When will you take our leave. oh dear guest?! Frankly, despite the risk  of making a grammatical error, देवः अतिथि भवः (Deva atithi bhava) (God, you're a guest)sounds  appropriate, more likely.  

So this procession I am sitting and looking at from my perch. I have gone to one myself. It feels strange. After staying with the idol for a complete night, there is this weird bond you form with the idol. It won't let you sleep. So the next evening, when you are going to drown the idol, you don't know how to feel. You feel like crying, but thankfully that feeling remains like a heavy rock inside. It stays there for a while. You can't cry. Why would you? Why would anyone? Specially someone, who takes pride in calling himself a rational being? Humans are supposed to be rational beings. And sometimes, we cry. In our own privacy. Sometimes in public. When no one's looking. 

Then you hear this voice. You know the voice. Very distinct. But it is not possible. For it belongs to someone you knew. It rings inside your head for some reason. You saw him go, Your heart quickens. It starts to throb. You look at the clock. It's 1:30 in the morning. It must be a horror movie. 

About a year has passed since you spent the night staying up, next to the idol. Next evening, you are a part of the procession heading off to a river to bid the idol good-bye. The guy heading the procession is chanting something, He says to the god, "Come back next year, ASAP.". The idol's face has a permanent smirk on it. It must be laughing. Laughing at what people do, year after year. 

The guy still chants along. The procession reaches the river.  I watch them drown the idol. I feel weird inside. Almost asking myself, why go through all this trouble to serve someone, when at sunset, you'd personally drown him.her? The question bounces off naked walls. It is supposed to be redundant, I guess. So much for tradition...

All chanting and all the paraphernalia that goes along with it is over. I still feel funny inside. Can't tell anyone. It happens often. You want to tell something. You don't know what it is. And you don't know whom to tell. It's like, the thoughts are there. They won't take shape in any understandable form.

Suddenly, fast-forward one year into the future. You find yourself next to the same old window you started at. That familiar voice is still chanting. But you know, what? That is not possible. The guy who chanted a year ago, is no more. He drowned someplace 1200 km away from where I am sitting now. No, it's not Karma or any such fancy term, used by fanatics to convince themselves of the balancing forces at play in the universe. It just happened. Somehow, this guy's memory kind of haunts me. Not in the top-ten list of people under any category of my considerations, but the guy chanting outside my window surely sounds like him. The same pump to the voice, the same accent. I can't get a visual on the guy. But somewhere in my head, this guy, the one long gone, is jumping around our procession, jumping and bouncing, chanting out loud. Looking forward to the next time he gets to do what he's doing now. So he chants fervently, 

गणपति बाप्पा, मोरया !! मंगल मूर्ति , मोरया !! 

गणपति बाप्पा, मोरया !!पुढच्या वर्षी लौकरया !!

His chants echo. Thankfully,  the echo is out there, down somewhere, not just inside my head.

The 'once'

A question that pops up quite often, either from others, or sometimes from that nagging sound inside the head is 'If you had to change something from the past, what would it be?'. Usually, my chest swells up with happiness! I thankfully have been blessed with a lack of memory that could remind me of anything that I would regret/like to change. Maybe, that is a good thing. Maybe, more often than not, it means that I haven't done enough. And also, maybe, it means nothing, although I surely have no idea what that means.

But there is this one memory, very vivid, just like it happened yesterday. This one haunts me pretty often. If what was shown in this movie 'Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind', wherein you could remove selected parts of your memory, this memory would be that 'one part' I'd like to get rid of. FOR GOOD!

This was about 9 years ago. I was in class 7. I was err.. a bit rolly-polly, ... not exactly Tom Cruise-like awesome or something, and not a very big hit among the ladies(or whatever you call them when they are 12..). So 9 years hence.................not much has changed, except the rolly-polly part. Still no Tom Cruise in the mirror, I don't look at 12 year old ladies or whatever you call them when they are 12, because that makes me feel like a... Never mind. As for ladies of my age though, status quo is maintained.  Even the sky looks almost the same distance it did when I was 12.... Maybe a bit closer. Just a bit.

Yeah, so back to that DREADED day!!

We had PT(Physical Training) classes. Those were the days man! Those were the days! No matter how much Physical Training we do/don't do right now, those were the days man! Those were the days!

So this PT teacher comes up to teach us how to run around and stuff, how to use starting- blocks, without actually using starting blocks...because we didn't have any starting blocks. It was more like a dry run...

Right now, for some reason, I remember this quote from this movie called 'School of Rock'. It goes like "Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym(PT in this case)".

So this PT teacher told us to get into that 'Get' position in the Get-Set-Go chain of positions. So we were in this knelt down position on one knee, with both our arms under our shoulders and stuff... then he shouted 'Set!'. And all of us pointed our arse skywards.... and then he shouted (okay, he didn't shout 'Tomato' or something) 'Go!!'. The only thing I remember is my rear leg slipping and my body coming down with a thud....

and dust all around me and all those puny arses wiggling in front of me a few feet away, moving away from me with every passing moment.

Oh, I forgot to mention that the ladies(or whatever you call them when they are 12, girls I suppose..) were standing behind the guys to check who would be the fastest among the fellows, and here I was, living a nightmare in broad daylight.

Here's the list of troubles...

a. I wasn't the fastest in class.

b. But I was faster than most.

c. I could hear the females giggling behind my arse

d. If I had started running even 4 seconds after I had slipped, I wouldn't have come last.

e. I still could hear the girls giggle...

f. I still could have started off...made a bigger arse of myself nevertheless, come somewhere near    last, still could have had the satisfaction for having tried, despite failing.

g. I didn't even try to run.

h. I could still hear the girls laughing and giggling behind my arse.

i. Now, even my dress was dirty!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

More than turning into a loser, being mocked by the girls, getting my clothes dirty or any of the host of things that could make me feel miserable, I felt pathetic for not getting up from where I fell, and running my heart out. That looks like a scene from a parallel universe, where on that particular day, I ran, beat about 50% of the crowd, and became a hit among the girls. Okay, being a hit among the girls looks like the central theme of this whole episode I guess. But why not?

But what came to be in reality, looks like the title of a very highly acclaimed movie. I'll tell you how. Although what I am about to do is simply going to screw up my chances of being a hit among girls. So any ways, here goes.

Girls= Chicks.

Chicks= Birds

The girls were mocking me. And I was feeling to kill the girls for mocking me.

So what I was basically wanting to do was 'To Kill the Mocking Bird(s)'....

And now, I am SO dead. More importantly....

Surprisingly enough, there's a message I'd like to leave with this episode. Try. Do anything, any how, but just try, except in the case someone challenges you to drop his/her iPhone. Don't try here. Just drop it!

A tale

We had a fallout. Then we stopped talking. We would run into each other... rather, I'd time myself hoping to cross her path, succeeded a few times, failed more so often. When I succeeded, I was met with blank expressions. I'd like to quote a very close friend of mine. He said, "The opposite of love isn't hatred. It's indifference." I was momentarily taken aback by the correctness of his statement, although what my friend uttered, referred to a very different scenario.
Something very unnerving about psychology is the fact that you never....evvvver get to know what the person you think about, is thinking, specialllly if the person is a lady. Maybe that sentence needs to be read again. One exception in my case is this friend of mine, whom I just quoted. Our thoughts come out like photocopies!

So she and I don't talk, or...maybe she doesn't hear what I say. Although I say a lot of things in my head, only sometimes do these things come out in a form, that the human ear finds decipherable. Hmmm.... I kind of see the problem here.

I was at this place to run a few errands. Suddenly, she turns up, obviously with some things of her own to do. For the first moment, I didn't really understand what exactly was happening. There was this sudden jolt-ish feeling I got in my belly, then felt my ticker exploding every second, right through my chest, my ears felt hot... usual stuff that happens when you see 'YOUR ONE'. But somehow, a few moments pass and I kept to myself, continuing to do what I'd come for hopefully not betraying the things going on inside me out into the public.
Having noticed her fully after the initial hiccups, I tried to get her to acknowledge my presence. Not with some usual "Hi!" or something. Okay, I didn't do a lot except for stealing a few glances...okay, maybe not glances, but definitely not stares!! Something in the middle of the two. Whatever I did.....no acknowledgement, what so ever! Not that she owed me one, or something.
Anyways, I didn't take too long to finish off with my things. I left, trying my best not to look at her.
After I left the place, I walked on for a few paces.  What I did notice is that for some very deliberate reason, my steps were unusually slow, given that I walk pretty fast, at least in my own head. I knew what was troubling me. I just didn't want to think it aloud. The place where I was coming from, she was the only girl around. Besides, while I was getting my work done, I did not like the way one of the buggers in that place had looked at her the whole time. I actually thought it was rather stupid of her to come to this place all alone, definitely not doubting her ability to protect herself...maybe I was a bit doubtful. Also, maybe, I was feeling unnecessarily overprotective. Maybe, I was also feeling like a complete arsehole for leaving her behind alone. I just didn't want her to think that I was taking undue advantage of the situation to talk to her. So I walked back, ran back honestly, and waited near the building, just to ensure that she left the place fine. It was actually a few moments before I saw her walking out that I heaved a sigh of relief. But you know those moments of anxiety, and how long they seem. I was just happy to see her out of that place, despite not getting a chance to talk to her. I did not follow her after that though.
I definitely don't know if she saw me near the building. Most probably, I don't think she did. Well, if she did, I am afraid, she'd think that I was stalking her. What a predicament! Okay, no fancy words... What a Pain-in-the-arse!!!! I'm just happy, it isn't PILES!

How thoroughly I enjoy maintaining the anonymity of my lady!   Although, I'd rather hope for a happier ending to the post instead!!

After college??

Goodness! This is like the most ubiquitous question I have come across in recent times. But I have to thank the question, for it has given me something to write about at a time when I was scraping the tank bottoms of my head for a topic.

I was talking to a very close friend of mine when the question popped up...literally from thin air. Why is there ever such a situation where what you look forward to, is probably having coffee ,maybe sometime later....and suddenly, you get interrogated about your future plans? Not my friend's fault for sure. Frankly speaking, the question scares a lot of things out of me, apart from the obvious. NOT A PLEASANT EXPERIENCE, mind you!

I get crazy ideas about my future. At least a few. Actually a few too many.

Okay, suppose there is some XYZ that I intend to have as my job description, this is usually the response I get from the people whom I tell what I want to do.

People in general: "So what do you plan to do after college?"

Me: "I want to do XYZ."

People in general: "Oh! Yeah, XYZ sounds good. But what are you going to do earn a living??"

If you have seen this movie called 'Good Luck Chuck' (What the .... AHEM!!), there is this scene where Jessica Alba (Oh!! So now you're going to  watch the movie..huh??) says to the hero when he asks what her job is.. that she is supposed to be a Penguin Caretaker. The guy goes like "Okay, Seriously, what do you do for a living?"

Hmm... There is another classic question. This one is although for the 'corporate interviewers', it's a pretty nasty question.

"Where do you see yourself in a matter of 5 years?"

If I evvver get called for an interview....iffff.....evvvver.... now you see the probability.... So if I do get this mystical call, my response would look something like this....

"सर जी! Answer तोह मुझे पता है, पर मैं  नहीं बताऊंगा!"(Hey dude, I know the answer, but I won't tell you!)

Now you know why I won't get called in the first place. You see, these companies can see 4 years into the future. They want someone who can show them the future beyond the future they can see. Why not recruit fortune tellers? So they definitely saw me typing this(whoever 'they' are) and that small chance I had of getting called went out of the window about 4 minutes ago. Great!

Besides, the idea of getting 'selected' for something lost it's charm in my head. Yeah, it sounds like the 'grapes-too-high,must-be-sour' theory, but it might be that kick in the backside that might just send you sky-rocketing your way into finding/doing what you love doing the most.

See? A frustrating question actually made me write this much. I'm almost looking forward to the right kick. Not the 'Between-the-legs' kind... Definitely not..

No! No! Noooooooooo!!! AAAWW!! Mummaaaayyyyyy!!!

Airplanes

All of us know what Orville and Wilbur did. They leaped into the air. And it has been ...err...what? About 110 years since they left behind a legacy that enabled humanity to take flight into our skies and beyond.

I see the kid in dad every time an aircraft passes overhead. For about 8 years, we stayed very close to the airport. But for some reason, he never gets bored of a take-off, or a landing. He never misses it. Dadaji(Dad's Dad) was in the Air-force. Probably that's why.

The first thing my Dad taught me was to draw a car.  I have a feeling that he taught me to draw cars before addition. Hence my obsession for heaven on 4 wheels. But I want to tell you about something else. My first...and probably my only venture into the world of origami. Dad could make paper fly. He taught me to do the same. Just a few folds here and there...and we had, what was called a paper plane. Fancy! At least to a 3 year old. Maybe even to a 21 year old...

Yeah, making paper planes in the 3rd year of your Undergraduate program. Sounds silly. Is silly!  But each time your piece of folded paper lingers in flight, gliding it's way through air, every second my heart feels like a 3 year old. This is obviously apart from the fact that I feel, think and probably behave(not sure about this one) like a 3 year old.

Specially when a friend and you,both have made a plane each, and your's last longer/goes farther in flight, WOW!!! YESSS!!!!!! I might actually start jumping around!! Okay...maybe I won't jump around....

I even have a theory about the whole process of making a paper plane. It might sound a bit too obvious... but maintain symmetry. And how, after giving the world that piece of advice, I feel like an equivalent of the Wright brothers in every 'wright'. Yeah, just then, this dude knocks the door of my head. He's come to deliver a message, he says. When I ask him what's the message, He tells me, "Shut up!" Huh?? I ask him, why he's mad at me.  He says...."Err... Sir, No, I'm not mad at you..SHUT UP...That's your message."

I was like "Oh!..."

By the way, I forgot to mention how miserable I feel when my fierce competitor, who so ever it may be, has his plane going farther than mine. 

I can hear the knock on my door again. 

"I'm not opening this time!!!! Sucker!!!!"

Yeah!!! How we make fancy folds on the plane's wings, trying to make it more 'AERODYNAMIC', and how....somehow, the air takes the wind out of our theories of aerodynamics! You're laughing?(Hope so...) Okay, then you don't have a wind-tunnel at home....which is usually a good thing. At least, in that case, you wouldn't make fun of people making paper planes.

Right now, there's this song 'Airplanes', bu Hayley Williams. Brilliant song by the way! The lyrics go like..

If we could pretend that 

Airplanes in the night skies're like shooting stars,

I could use a wish right now....

I am not wishing for anything in particular, except for the usual things...I even got bored of wishing for them now, but who wouldn't care for a few granted wishes? From where I'm writing this, even if there's a shooting star falling, I wouldn't see any.... Clouds, I tell you. Hey wait! I could wish these clouds away... Maybe my paper planes come in handy!

Aaaaarrrgggghhh!!!! I feel good! (paeiuwaeiuwaeiuwe)

First things first... Try to pronounce the word in the brackets. Until you haven't heard James Brown singing the title of this post, I pretty much bet you won't have a clue of what the ruddy word sounds like. Never mind the word. …................................................................................................................

….................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Woops..Sorry. If you live in a hostel, very often, a few interruptions are inevitable...Yeah, it kind of sucks to have your train of thoughts shown the red light. Moving on..

Today, something happened to me, that I was pretty certain, would never happen to me. By the way, yesterday, something(good) happened to me, that I was pretty certain about. Okay, Let's look through the pretty events in order.

I was headed for my mess(apart from the fact that I am usually headed for a mess..), Don't ming the weired stuff coming at you from the brackets.. That's another guy..(This fellow is schizophrenic!!).

Ya, so on my way to dinner, one guy tells me about a senior, for whom, I hold pretty high regards, who got placed in a company that came to our college.

It is actually something that happens every year....Nothing new.. But I know not why, I felt this strange kind of happiness, which I find hard to explain. It was almost as though somehow, in some inexplicable way, I just got closer to being placed myself.

Here's what I felt up till now, what I thought would be impossible to feel....Feeling genuinely good for another person. Yeah, a line like that very conveniently puts me into the category of 'The worst people on the planet'. But not that I give a damn.

I am not going to go to great lengths to convince any soul on how elated I felt after hearing the good news..It makes the whole 'feeling good' feeling seem synthetic.

So? Moral of the story? Huh?? What?? All of it?? What's the whole point?? Minutes of the day?? Summary??

Frankly speaking...I don't know. My situation is of the kind that any source of happiness sounds worth recording in any manner possible. Not that I am running short on such events..but just feels good thinking about stuff that makes you feel good....

Realization 101- Main purpose of life(needless to say) is to be happy..

Realization 102- Equation for happiness isn't linear, quadratic, cubic, bi-quadratic or of any higher order(The guy doesn't know the names of higher order equations by the way....)

The second pretty thing is what happened yesterday...

I left the computer center of my college somewhere around 4.50 in the evening. I was walking out of the college to get to a place(outside college...). I kind of predicted...foresaw....err....hoped....desperately to run into....sorry...walk into(I wasn't running for a change) her. There is this book called 'Blink' written by Malcolm Gladwell, where he writes about how we happen to identify things unknowingly, within a fraction of a second. Something similar happened. She was walking out of the hostel gate. It didn't take me a fraction of a fraction of a second to see who I was going to walk into..and for as long as I remember, I did it very much knowingly.

My mind went for a stroll...as usual... We looked at each other (For the first time, I can confidently say that it was consensual), then we smiled....or whatever I did that came into a meek smile(My impression on what I did, whereas in reality, I would be either doing half of what I did, or I would have scared her with my teeth... Either ways, I guess, I did fine). In return, I saw this sight I had longed to see for over about a year....

Then one word jumped out of her and hit me.. not like a stone, thankfully...more like a serendipitous realization.... “Hi!”

I couldn't really respond as my oratory skills decided to accompany my brain for a stroll. So I somehow managed to muster up what in my head looks like a friendly wave.. I see now, how a smile can floor you....flat on the floor.

It felt good... Bliss has ways of getting to you, I guess.

And I would be extremely shocked to find myself having the balls to post this piece for public viewing.

So...

That feeling of being..

Tottallly out of PLACE!!!

Tonight's the night. I write a line, then I press the backspace button. I type again, again press the backspace. Somehow, after coaxing myself for a while, I simply force myself to ignore the ruddy button. And..the above two lines begin to take shape. Wait!!!

....................

…................

…................

I hate these phone calls that disrupt your train of thought... Never mind! Somehow, I am finding it very difficult to form a concrete idea of what's going on inside my head. It's almost like there isn't a reason for me to feel how I am feeling, but at the same time, there isn't a reason for me not to feel how I am feeling. Okay, now the problem with the previous line is that after reading it, I feel that I shouldn't have let it come out into the world...EVER!!

I feel the Blues!! Now, for the first time in my life, I got the meaning of this word right. It's like when you do not feel happy, neither do you feel sad...but rather you feel the frustration of not feeling either happy or sad. Brilliant. For a while,I'll have to walk around in disguise around people who may read this. There is a high likelihood that these folks will hit me with rotten tomatoes/eggs.

Somehow, my humor is totally out of sync.

I FEEL FUNNY! Yet I don't seem funny.... OH!!! How funny..... If this got you laughing, I must say, You have a problem!!

But THAT is not my problem. Somehow the simulator in your mind creates a very different video of things how they turn out in reality. Yes, point accepted that the world would be too boring if that wasn't true. But the thing is that.... NOTHING SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE RIGHT NOW!!!

WoW! Every word coming to my mind seems like a torturous foot covered by the movement of a sluggish glutton! No apologies for the over emphasis, by the way. Yes, this piece of work is as difficult to write, as it is to read.

I'll try my best to think of exactly what has happened.. Something has changed very dramatically in the past 3 months. Maybe temporarily. That is definitely something I have no clue about. It seems so 'UN-ME'. Now the 'backspacing' seems to be kicking in again. It seems to be my sense of self-preservation that sounds as if it is shouting from the top of a mountain. Here's what it is shouting....

“Dude!!! Shut your trap up!!! Someone's just looking for a reason to put a bullet in your head. Trouble with the bullet is that it ain't those things that come out of a gun!! This one's the motorcycle!!!”

And I am like.... “Which model?? Old or new??”

The voice on top of the mountain: “How would that make a difference??”

Me: “If it's the old ones, it will bleed itself of all it's oil and petrol before it comes anywhere close to me”

The Voice on top of the building: “...........................................................”

Yaaayyy!!!!

And then one may ask...”Why put me through this ordeal?”

Little stuff

In a couple of days, it will be a week since I stepped 'back' into my college campus after a pretty fulfilling summer holiday. The first day sucked. Then, it was all back to the normal...the coffee, the desperation, the frustration, the uncontrollable laughter, the leg pulling, pushing, new faces, not so new faces...blah....blah...annd...blah... Okay stop!
I still get the feeling that nothing is happening. The only thing I have done newly is getting myself some company for my evening runs. That's an upside..currently, the only exciting thing(or anything coming close to an exciting thing) that there is.
That girl!! She still ignores me. Just for a change,I try to ignore her too, and partially succeed.... or whatever that means. I happened to have the pleasure of crossing the 1000th page of a book for the second time in my life... Just that the last seven pages of the ruddy book still make me feel guilty for leaving them unread. The fear of getting a cold after running in the rain jumped out of my closed window after I ran in the rain a d did not get a cold. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay anything to the hostel authorities for repairing my windows...
What else?? I feel my mind is rusting out. It feels like a block of cast iron. Hmm...I don't need dumbbells while squatting anymore. As usual, I am over-analyzing my situations. If there is something called a 'Anxiety-due-to-inability-of-creating-humorous-string-of-words-caused-by-inexplicable-circumstances Syndrome', that is exactly what I am suffering from. I am also quite sure that I am going to excuse myself to the washroom for a leak after re-reading this post for errors, for the single reason of looking in the mirror(if there is one in the washroom) and BANGING my head on the nearest wall, for writing this post. I also do realize that if ever I run out of ideas(the thoughts of which wake me up in the middle of my lectures...) I shall remain blank for the remaining time I have on this planet as the contents of this post were the intended contents of the  last-resort-post.. Upside? I will have to think for new content for my last-resort-post. Downside?? I will have to think for new content for that bloody last-resort-post .....again!!!! 

Marine run

I have this thing for going long distances on foot....a bit faster than brisk walking...
I went to Marine drive for a run. For those who know the place, I do not need to tell you why I like this place. For those who don't....

Yeah..THAT!!
It is HANDS-DOWN the best place in the whole of Mumbai...Definitely of the best places I have seen in this short life of mine. Annnd it comes with an added advantage. A HUGE!! LONNNNG (3 km) footpath to run your heart out(okay....eventually, it becomes short).
There's anothier thing about it. It is measured for every 100 meters. There is this granite slab on the floor that has the distance engraved on it from either end of the 3 km....And you are pretty unlikely to notice that if you just go for a stroll...
First time I went here, I jussst could finish a to-and-fro thing on this stretch. Then slowly, I eventually hit the 10k mark recently. This time,when I ran this place.....I kind of got bored.
Yeah, the sun setting by your side, waves of the sea paint a beautiful picture and stuff and whats. But it got boring...not tiring..BORING!!
I wondered why....and eventually, I had a 'EUREKA' moment.
I was getting bored of constantly being reminded that I had done 200......600....1300....2500 meters. And even if you do not intentionally read the so called '100meterstones' which came 16 times before a Milestone, each time I passed a .....stone, it was intrinsically doing the math. Yes, a bit of math won't hurt but it became a bit of an obstruction.
The last time I did a 10k,it was slightly different. I knew I'd done 10 k after I came back and checked the whole thing on google. That day,10k felt pretty not-so-killer-as-I-thought. Probably it was because I wasn't bothered with/by the distance.
There are upsides,though, of measured pavements.... You know you haven't overdone it/know when you have..You don't need google.... You can run specific distances like a 100m sprint or something like that,which usually is rather difficult.
I still feel I can't put the feeling in words why going to-and-fro on a beautiful strip of land is something I do not fancy(few reasons may be obvious)...
I guess I need a new location.

Revival

It is strange to be troubled by a need that isn't a necessity for survival but still leaves you completely frustrated if it has become close to a part of your daily routine. It has been two weeks that my laziness left the world to become a better place. As unbelievable as it may sound, not a single day went by when I wasn't nagged by my insides for the fact that I haven't let the contents of my head out. At first,I thought,what have I to lose? But slowly, the 'snowball-effect' came into life.
BRAINS IN THE BIN: Now this is the expression that comes to mind when I think of what I put myself through. In Shakespeare-is words, I actually cried(in my own head of course!)
"Where go thou, my mind?? I wish not thou art rest in my hind...."
It almost ended up being a low-point of my self-esteem curve. I actually plot this curve you know?? Goodness,I am truly bad at bluffing..
I'm going nowhere...
Somebody help me...Stayin' alaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvvvee !!!!!!!!!!
Enough self beating! On with new posts...
Coming sooner...

The balding eagle.

This,as you may not realize,isn't a dig at the USA's national bird.

This is something that has taken about more than a third of the earth's population's peace by storm. 

Time-3 pm.

Friend: Dude! You're losing your hair..

The 'Dude'-Oh! Who?? ME??(No,my uncle..) Nah man..My hair's wet. Oh shit!! I forgot to use the towel after taking bath in the morning...(Now you know why the time was mentioned...)

Or....'Dude':That stupid barber is a fucking jackass!! Never go to him!

Friend: Dude,you didn't get a haircut in a month....

WWOOPS!!

Baldness..SUCKS

Poor fellows really don't want to go bald..

Many of our grandfathers,from the mother's side,from the father's side...and in most unfortunate cases,from both sides have had to deal with it(Err...that's me..Annnd I have started seeing what shit genetics can do to you..).

And they,(grandfathers).....err......haven't...........exactly.........succeeded APPARENTLY.

There are all sort of ads addressing baldness and it's solutions in the newspapers,TV,magazines, et cetera . Err,even radio stations aren't immune to this stuff.

There are 'hair studios' that use Shane Warne , Brett Lee, Saurav Ganguly and all the other Lees' to testify how effective these places are. Fellows try all sort of oily stuff on their head..all allopathic,homeopathic,ayurvedic,herbal,Chinese,sub-Saharan techniques, whats' and what not's to stop,if not reverse the deforestation of their precious mane. 

Then there are those wigs of course...age old solution....not very useful until a few recent cases(Michael C.Hall,Dexter lead actor,this one is not funny please!seriously!!)

Some wise ones just stop caring(actually,they stop caring because of helplessness...). They seek solace in reading articles that go by the title 'Girls find bald guys more attractive'(Do I really need to tell you how I feel about this one??) and they obviously get depressed to read stuff that looks like 'Bald folks experience higher stress'. Whether or not they do,I am sure the article's title puts them more under stress.

Now.....The wiser ones..(I belong here by the way) happily go fully bald.

Extra attention is one upside to this one,okay,maybe not the positive kind,but still.A little bit extra of this thing may just come in handy. There are downsides to this one too...but unavoidable in the other two options too, in most cases that is.

Parents(specially moms) get worried.

Ohh!! Son,You will look so weird! You had so much hair when you were young(By the way,you are still young!!). Basically,that is her concerned way of saying..."Son,Getting a girl just got all the more harder...specially when it was already hard for you in the first place..."...Very insightful.

Meanwhile...you are like...Mom,Mayyybe  you could have thought over this issue when you saw both my grandfathers....(Okay...that was SO NOT a joke..Shit!! If my mom reads this,then??).

BUT!!!! BUTT!!!! BUTT(No,the butt doesn't have hairloss troubles...probably even if it did,you wouldn't give a fuck I suppose),men aren't the only ones with the troubled mane.

It is something of a trouble even on Venus inhabitants!! I was shocked to learn of this,the first time,as a kid when I heard this..But later,it sort of sunk in...Law of symmetry. This may not be any proven law...but concepts like 'things go full circle',Yin-Yang(okay,maybe not this one) and things like that...same stuff. Besides,why should the cause of Man's troubles(I am going to be aimed at with rocks for this one!!) be spared of his troubles??(Hope they never understand guys!!)

No,but it is actually pretty sad sometimes..annd fun otherwise(I am seriously dead),speciallllly if 'their' barber TRULY screwed up!!!! But all hands down for those who go all off...THEY HAVE BALLS MAN!! Seriously(Okay,not that seriously...)

Some are unfortunate to go through with things like cancer. I won't call it unfortunate,you can beat me as much you want for this,because these,where ever they are,no matter what the end result,specially if they are fighting, surpass probably every source of motivation on the planet. I don't pity them. It would be an abuse to their courage! 

Okay,it got a bit too heavy I guess.On a lighter note, to those pansys' who are looking to shed their wallets on treatment...two things...

1-Hope your treatment works.

2-Hopefully,you'll buy a hair clipper with a little less money.

For the remaining ones...Enjoy this commercial....You will double up(not sorry if you lack the funny bone!)..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9CQpYPR1Ug

Trance

The past two days have gone by like a blur. It feels like you are there in your head,despite you aren't. I am not under the influence,but it feels no different,it seems, as I am yet to get under the influence.. What if you have a reason to stand atop the tallest point on earth and shout out in anger? Firstly,will anyone hear it? What if instead,you are staring into the dark...trying to sleep,and all you do for the longest while is toss and turn around,as inactivity won't let you sleep?
You can't name your reasons. Everyone around you knows it. Just that the thought of uttering the reason keeps them quiet. To say what is in your head is meant to be impolite. Silence is golden. And you smile,when what you ought to do is vent out. There was this lady I heard talking,who said, our brain is not ready for this time,when things are best kept in a bottle. I feel like a teenager with my hormones pushing me the wrong way. I look out of the window,I see 52 shades of grey. I know that what I do is not the best way to do it when I am facing 75 keys instead of a punching bag. Maybe I'll sleep it over. Till then,I wait for sleep to come to me.

Man! it was amazing!!

The house was very complicated.It had staircases all over the place.We were searching for something in the house,two girl,really good friends of mine and I. I don't know why  they were helping me out,probably that is what friends are for,besides,it made the scenario a lot better..(If I know you well enough to consider you a good friend,rather,if you consider me a good friend,please feel free to put yourself as one of the beautiful ladies,and even otherwise)

I was kind of bored with the searching...There was this pull-up bar inside.It was pretty high. But I leaped for it anyway.I caught it somehow. It's always fun to do stuff you think is out of your reach. If you happen to pull it off,you feel LIKE A BOSS!! Suddenly,it was like we were being surrounded.Someone was planning an ambush on us. There were moving shadows everywhere,crouching,trying to hide. We saw the motions around us. The three of us dashed for the rear exit before the attackers could surround the rear side entrance.

The house was in the middle of the forest. We got out of the house and dashed for open ground. It didn't seem like the best plan,neither now,nor then,but it was better than being ambushed in an enclosed surrounding.

Thankfully,the two girls were fast runners. So it wasn't the typical scene of pulling each other to stay together,or playing catch-up with the gang. But our pursuers were quick to realize our departure through the back gate. So they were hard on our tail. 

Right ahead,there was this huge tree that had blocked our path. It had fallen into this shallow depression in the ground. The two girls jumped straight over it. I surprisingly got my footing wrong,barely missing tripping over the tree's trunk,falling face down. Mind you,I did NOT fall face-down... 

Fortunately I had realized microfractions of a second before that I was not going to get my footing correctly before the jump. So I pushed the ground with all the force my legs could muster. I leapt over the log. It was a huge freaking leap. I realized something. I landed.This time,I pushed off even harder. 

A few moments passed. I heard a few gun shots. Then the chasers stopped firing at me. The girls stopped running. I could see their jaws drop in shock,amazement,rather. Actually everybody's jaws fell(except mine of course). A few feet off the ground,a figure that had leapt over the fallen tree,never landed.

Yeah baby!! I could fly!!

My first leap at the pull-up bar actually felt a bit strange. While the three of us were on the run,at the time I missed my footing and leaped,as I mentioned earlier,I realized that this one was completely worth a try. So I put everything into it. Initially,I felt as if I was losing altitude. But then  ,I managed to maintain flight. Those few moments of flight were the best thing I felt.

Our pursuers happened to realize that neither their numbers,nor guns  were of no use to them anymore.So they fled. 

And I woke up... I frankly don't feel bad about it. I felt great even after waking up.  I never felt something so real.There's another thing.The whole while,I knew I was dreaming. Somehow,I was able to control it.It has actually been a while that I wanted to read Sigmond Freud's book on dreams,especially since my English teacher had mentioned about this book in my 11th grade. Fortunately I do have the book. So I shall get to it at once.

This unfortunately wasn't much of a 'moral of the story' kind of a case. But I realized(in reality) that  a hunch towards an idea is probably worth a try.

Happy dreaming!!

Aye Uncle!!

Uncle..The dude whom you can't call anything else.He ain't young enough that you can call him an older brother,you don't like addressing the fellow as 'sir'..too formal,and English just doesn't have a consortium of words to address a male, who is either next of kin or neither so,unlike most other languages. So if nothing comes into mind, UNCLE it is. Yes,in our own surroundings,Bhaiyya always comes handy. But then even Salman Khan says..."Please,don't call me BHAI."
Besides,where I live,thee is something people have against 'bhaiyyas'. Not that they have a very relevant point in the following sentence,but it isn't that technically correct to call a 65 year old taxi/autorickshaw driver 'bhaiyya' no??
Aye UNCLE! UNCLE!! You have a message....or something like "UNCLE!! Why aren't you picking up the phone??" A while ago,I heard this as a message and caller tune on one of my older cousin's cellphone. It was this ugly childish persistent voice,the sort that would make your mornings hell,were they to be your alarm tone. Some piece of work. Strangely enough,the thing actually doubles you up,the moment the phone rings. Anyhow,at least that is a way how these folks smile for a while during the whole day.I sure hope they forget to put the phone on silent during a very important meeting...... Heeeeeee...

Now,there's tragedy to this post.
I was travelling in a train. There was this bunch of teenagers(while typing this,I actually feel like a complete uncle!!!) Yeah,I overshot my 'teenage' by 2 years now...but I feel no different than when I was 12..neither in size,nor intellect...SUCKS!
Yeah,so this some 17-18 year old chick comes and says....(this is sickeningly embarrassing),excuse me *UNCLE*???????? HUH??? WHHHHAAAATTTTTT??????? WHOOO??? WHERE????WHENN???
I mean,she should be saying,excuse me Chhotu(Okay,she was shorter to me I suppose,so Chhotu is kind of ruled out),but anything..ANYTHHING!!!!! ...Uncle? I died that day....Not laughing by the way...IT IS NOT FUNNY!!! OKAY??
Days like this really..frankly speaking...fuck you up!!! Hell, I am just 21!! I am not at the pinnacle of good looks,but UNCLE?? The word sounds obnoxious as it repeatedly rings in my ears..
UUUUUWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEIIIINNNNN.....Now I feel like a 4 year old kid....
Bullshit!! The girl must have been blind...Oh!! That is why she was wearing those shades!!!
This above paragraph is like those things that you want to tell someone,but somehow,you wish no one bothers reading it... And if you felt like laughing....and enjoyed it.....STOP AT ONCE!!!!!
NOT FUNNY!!! Please don't laugh...Please..

Knight owl

Ever seen people go to sleep,and wake up in the morning and seen the expression on their face??
The expression goes like this...
HOW???
And in your own head,one's like :YEAH PUNNNKK!!!
For some reason,nights feel a lot more productive when you're onto something. Daytime just goes by.Something or the other comes up and ...gone,there goes time out of the window.
Night time is like,you put a stick of chewing gum in your mouth,keep double the requisite quantity of coffee(as by now,one is virtually immune to coffee) and set off into the dark.
I keep repeating this but I HATE SLEEP. Trouble is,when I fall for it,I turn into Kumbhakarana! It's written everywhere,GET MORE SLEEP,GET MORE SLEEP!!! 6 hours,7 hours 8 hours...Sounds like someone selling you sleep using some discount scheme.. The discount is your time on earth!
You sleep too less,it seems you start to feel disorientated(Okay,you do feel a bit irritated sometimes)
If you sleep too much,it seems you are at risk of some random heart disease(No clue about this one..)
Yeah,sleep it over..This thing actually works.
But Damn! Why do we get tired? Right now,as you read this,the person who was writing it a while back was fighting this 'tire'anny.
It sort of becomes difficult to get ideas right. All stuff gets jumbled in your head. Strangely,when you're done,you very well know that you are done.Sad part is that you can do nothing about it other than letting your body take over. I don't have much to boast about,but 2 consecutive nights has been my best at staying awake.But the moment you put physical activity into account,the body and mind enter a battle field...Body wins...Hands down. This thing demands too much for carrying the mind around!!!
Somewhere you realize that whatever you are ranting about is...
1-Not making sense
2-Isn't funny
3-Better if stays in your head,rather than coming out into the world.
So you abruptly end the topic.
Good night!
Z..Z.....Z....