That feeling of being..

Tottallly out of PLACE!!!

Tonight's the night. I write a line, then I press the backspace button. I type again, again press the backspace. Somehow, after coaxing myself for a while, I simply force myself to ignore the ruddy button. And..the above two lines begin to take shape. Wait!!!

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…................

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I hate these phone calls that disrupt your train of thought... Never mind! Somehow, I am finding it very difficult to form a concrete idea of what's going on inside my head. It's almost like there isn't a reason for me to feel how I am feeling, but at the same time, there isn't a reason for me not to feel how I am feeling. Okay, now the problem with the previous line is that after reading it, I feel that I shouldn't have let it come out into the world...EVER!!

I feel the Blues!! Now, for the first time in my life, I got the meaning of this word right. It's like when you do not feel happy, neither do you feel sad...but rather you feel the frustration of not feeling either happy or sad. Brilliant. For a while,I'll have to walk around in disguise around people who may read this. There is a high likelihood that these folks will hit me with rotten tomatoes/eggs.

Somehow, my humor is totally out of sync.

I FEEL FUNNY! Yet I don't seem funny.... OH!!! How funny..... If this got you laughing, I must say, You have a problem!!

But THAT is not my problem. Somehow the simulator in your mind creates a very different video of things how they turn out in reality. Yes, point accepted that the world would be too boring if that wasn't true. But the thing is that.... NOTHING SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE RIGHT NOW!!!

WoW! Every word coming to my mind seems like a torturous foot covered by the movement of a sluggish glutton! No apologies for the over emphasis, by the way. Yes, this piece of work is as difficult to write, as it is to read.

I'll try my best to think of exactly what has happened.. Something has changed very dramatically in the past 3 months. Maybe temporarily. That is definitely something I have no clue about. It seems so 'UN-ME'. Now the 'backspacing' seems to be kicking in again. It seems to be my sense of self-preservation that sounds as if it is shouting from the top of a mountain. Here's what it is shouting....

“Dude!!! Shut your trap up!!! Someone's just looking for a reason to put a bullet in your head. Trouble with the bullet is that it ain't those things that come out of a gun!! This one's the motorcycle!!!”

And I am like.... “Which model?? Old or new??”

The voice on top of the mountain: “How would that make a difference??”

Me: “If it's the old ones, it will bleed itself of all it's oil and petrol before it comes anywhere close to me”

The Voice on top of the building: “...........................................................”

Yaaayyy!!!!

And then one may ask...”Why put me through this ordeal?”