Revival

It is strange to be troubled by a need that isn't a necessity for survival but still leaves you completely frustrated if it has become close to a part of your daily routine. It has been two weeks that my laziness left the world to become a better place. As unbelievable as it may sound, not a single day went by when I wasn't nagged by my insides for the fact that I haven't let the contents of my head out. At first,I thought,what have I to lose? But slowly, the 'snowball-effect' came into life.
BRAINS IN THE BIN: Now this is the expression that comes to mind when I think of what I put myself through. In Shakespeare-is words, I actually cried(in my own head of course!)
"Where go thou, my mind?? I wish not thou art rest in my hind...."
It almost ended up being a low-point of my self-esteem curve. I actually plot this curve you know?? Goodness,I am truly bad at bluffing..
I'm going nowhere...
Somebody help me...Stayin' alaaaaaaiiiiiiivvvvvvee !!!!!!!!!!
Enough self beating! On with new posts...
Coming sooner...

The balding eagle.

This,as you may not realize,isn't a dig at the USA's national bird.

This is something that has taken about more than a third of the earth's population's peace by storm. 

Time-3 pm.

Friend: Dude! You're losing your hair..

The 'Dude'-Oh! Who?? ME??(No,my uncle..) Nah man..My hair's wet. Oh shit!! I forgot to use the towel after taking bath in the morning...(Now you know why the time was mentioned...)

Or....'Dude':That stupid barber is a fucking jackass!! Never go to him!

Friend: Dude,you didn't get a haircut in a month....

WWOOPS!!

Baldness..SUCKS

Poor fellows really don't want to go bald..

Many of our grandfathers,from the mother's side,from the father's side...and in most unfortunate cases,from both sides have had to deal with it(Err...that's me..Annnd I have started seeing what shit genetics can do to you..).

And they,(grandfathers).....err......haven't...........exactly.........succeeded APPARENTLY.

There are all sort of ads addressing baldness and it's solutions in the newspapers,TV,magazines, et cetera . Err,even radio stations aren't immune to this stuff.

There are 'hair studios' that use Shane Warne , Brett Lee, Saurav Ganguly and all the other Lees' to testify how effective these places are. Fellows try all sort of oily stuff on their head..all allopathic,homeopathic,ayurvedic,herbal,Chinese,sub-Saharan techniques, whats' and what not's to stop,if not reverse the deforestation of their precious mane. 

Then there are those wigs of course...age old solution....not very useful until a few recent cases(Michael C.Hall,Dexter lead actor,this one is not funny please!seriously!!)

Some wise ones just stop caring(actually,they stop caring because of helplessness...). They seek solace in reading articles that go by the title 'Girls find bald guys more attractive'(Do I really need to tell you how I feel about this one??) and they obviously get depressed to read stuff that looks like 'Bald folks experience higher stress'. Whether or not they do,I am sure the article's title puts them more under stress.

Now.....The wiser ones..(I belong here by the way) happily go fully bald.

Extra attention is one upside to this one,okay,maybe not the positive kind,but still.A little bit extra of this thing may just come in handy. There are downsides to this one too...but unavoidable in the other two options too, in most cases that is.

Parents(specially moms) get worried.

Ohh!! Son,You will look so weird! You had so much hair when you were young(By the way,you are still young!!). Basically,that is her concerned way of saying..."Son,Getting a girl just got all the more harder...specially when it was already hard for you in the first place..."...Very insightful.

Meanwhile...you are like...Mom,Mayyybe  you could have thought over this issue when you saw both my grandfathers....(Okay...that was SO NOT a joke..Shit!! If my mom reads this,then??).

BUT!!!! BUTT!!!! BUTT(No,the butt doesn't have hairloss troubles...probably even if it did,you wouldn't give a fuck I suppose),men aren't the only ones with the troubled mane.

It is something of a trouble even on Venus inhabitants!! I was shocked to learn of this,the first time,as a kid when I heard this..But later,it sort of sunk in...Law of symmetry. This may not be any proven law...but concepts like 'things go full circle',Yin-Yang(okay,maybe not this one) and things like that...same stuff. Besides,why should the cause of Man's troubles(I am going to be aimed at with rocks for this one!!) be spared of his troubles??(Hope they never understand guys!!)

No,but it is actually pretty sad sometimes..annd fun otherwise(I am seriously dead),speciallllly if 'their' barber TRULY screwed up!!!! But all hands down for those who go all off...THEY HAVE BALLS MAN!! Seriously(Okay,not that seriously...)

Some are unfortunate to go through with things like cancer. I won't call it unfortunate,you can beat me as much you want for this,because these,where ever they are,no matter what the end result,specially if they are fighting, surpass probably every source of motivation on the planet. I don't pity them. It would be an abuse to their courage! 

Okay,it got a bit too heavy I guess.On a lighter note, to those pansys' who are looking to shed their wallets on treatment...two things...

1-Hope your treatment works.

2-Hopefully,you'll buy a hair clipper with a little less money.

For the remaining ones...Enjoy this commercial....You will double up(not sorry if you lack the funny bone!)..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9CQpYPR1Ug

Trance

The past two days have gone by like a blur. It feels like you are there in your head,despite you aren't. I am not under the influence,but it feels no different,it seems, as I am yet to get under the influence.. What if you have a reason to stand atop the tallest point on earth and shout out in anger? Firstly,will anyone hear it? What if instead,you are staring into the dark...trying to sleep,and all you do for the longest while is toss and turn around,as inactivity won't let you sleep?
You can't name your reasons. Everyone around you knows it. Just that the thought of uttering the reason keeps them quiet. To say what is in your head is meant to be impolite. Silence is golden. And you smile,when what you ought to do is vent out. There was this lady I heard talking,who said, our brain is not ready for this time,when things are best kept in a bottle. I feel like a teenager with my hormones pushing me the wrong way. I look out of the window,I see 52 shades of grey. I know that what I do is not the best way to do it when I am facing 75 keys instead of a punching bag. Maybe I'll sleep it over. Till then,I wait for sleep to come to me.

Man! it was amazing!!

The house was very complicated.It had staircases all over the place.We were searching for something in the house,two girl,really good friends of mine and I. I don't know why  they were helping me out,probably that is what friends are for,besides,it made the scenario a lot better..(If I know you well enough to consider you a good friend,rather,if you consider me a good friend,please feel free to put yourself as one of the beautiful ladies,and even otherwise)

I was kind of bored with the searching...There was this pull-up bar inside.It was pretty high. But I leaped for it anyway.I caught it somehow. It's always fun to do stuff you think is out of your reach. If you happen to pull it off,you feel LIKE A BOSS!! Suddenly,it was like we were being surrounded.Someone was planning an ambush on us. There were moving shadows everywhere,crouching,trying to hide. We saw the motions around us. The three of us dashed for the rear exit before the attackers could surround the rear side entrance.

The house was in the middle of the forest. We got out of the house and dashed for open ground. It didn't seem like the best plan,neither now,nor then,but it was better than being ambushed in an enclosed surrounding.

Thankfully,the two girls were fast runners. So it wasn't the typical scene of pulling each other to stay together,or playing catch-up with the gang. But our pursuers were quick to realize our departure through the back gate. So they were hard on our tail. 

Right ahead,there was this huge tree that had blocked our path. It had fallen into this shallow depression in the ground. The two girls jumped straight over it. I surprisingly got my footing wrong,barely missing tripping over the tree's trunk,falling face down. Mind you,I did NOT fall face-down... 

Fortunately I had realized microfractions of a second before that I was not going to get my footing correctly before the jump. So I pushed the ground with all the force my legs could muster. I leapt over the log. It was a huge freaking leap. I realized something. I landed.This time,I pushed off even harder. 

A few moments passed. I heard a few gun shots. Then the chasers stopped firing at me. The girls stopped running. I could see their jaws drop in shock,amazement,rather. Actually everybody's jaws fell(except mine of course). A few feet off the ground,a figure that had leapt over the fallen tree,never landed.

Yeah baby!! I could fly!!

My first leap at the pull-up bar actually felt a bit strange. While the three of us were on the run,at the time I missed my footing and leaped,as I mentioned earlier,I realized that this one was completely worth a try. So I put everything into it. Initially,I felt as if I was losing altitude. But then  ,I managed to maintain flight. Those few moments of flight were the best thing I felt.

Our pursuers happened to realize that neither their numbers,nor guns  were of no use to them anymore.So they fled. 

And I woke up... I frankly don't feel bad about it. I felt great even after waking up.  I never felt something so real.There's another thing.The whole while,I knew I was dreaming. Somehow,I was able to control it.It has actually been a while that I wanted to read Sigmond Freud's book on dreams,especially since my English teacher had mentioned about this book in my 11th grade. Fortunately I do have the book. So I shall get to it at once.

This unfortunately wasn't much of a 'moral of the story' kind of a case. But I realized(in reality) that  a hunch towards an idea is probably worth a try.

Happy dreaming!!

Aye Uncle!!

Uncle..The dude whom you can't call anything else.He ain't young enough that you can call him an older brother,you don't like addressing the fellow as 'sir'..too formal,and English just doesn't have a consortium of words to address a male, who is either next of kin or neither so,unlike most other languages. So if nothing comes into mind, UNCLE it is. Yes,in our own surroundings,Bhaiyya always comes handy. But then even Salman Khan says..."Please,don't call me BHAI."
Besides,where I live,thee is something people have against 'bhaiyyas'. Not that they have a very relevant point in the following sentence,but it isn't that technically correct to call a 65 year old taxi/autorickshaw driver 'bhaiyya' no??
Aye UNCLE! UNCLE!! You have a message....or something like "UNCLE!! Why aren't you picking up the phone??" A while ago,I heard this as a message and caller tune on one of my older cousin's cellphone. It was this ugly childish persistent voice,the sort that would make your mornings hell,were they to be your alarm tone. Some piece of work. Strangely enough,the thing actually doubles you up,the moment the phone rings. Anyhow,at least that is a way how these folks smile for a while during the whole day.I sure hope they forget to put the phone on silent during a very important meeting...... Heeeeeee...

Now,there's tragedy to this post.
I was travelling in a train. There was this bunch of teenagers(while typing this,I actually feel like a complete uncle!!!) Yeah,I overshot my 'teenage' by 2 years now...but I feel no different than when I was 12..neither in size,nor intellect...SUCKS!
Yeah,so this some 17-18 year old chick comes and says....(this is sickeningly embarrassing),excuse me *UNCLE*???????? HUH??? WHHHHAAAATTTTTT??????? WHOOO??? WHERE????WHENN???
I mean,she should be saying,excuse me Chhotu(Okay,she was shorter to me I suppose,so Chhotu is kind of ruled out),but anything..ANYTHHING!!!!! ...Uncle? I died that day....Not laughing by the way...IT IS NOT FUNNY!!! OKAY??
Days like this really..frankly speaking...fuck you up!!! Hell, I am just 21!! I am not at the pinnacle of good looks,but UNCLE?? The word sounds obnoxious as it repeatedly rings in my ears..
UUUUUWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAEEEEEIIIINNNNN.....Now I feel like a 4 year old kid....
Bullshit!! The girl must have been blind...Oh!! That is why she was wearing those shades!!!
This above paragraph is like those things that you want to tell someone,but somehow,you wish no one bothers reading it... And if you felt like laughing....and enjoyed it.....STOP AT ONCE!!!!!
NOT FUNNY!!! Please don't laugh...Please..

Knight owl

Ever seen people go to sleep,and wake up in the morning and seen the expression on their face??
The expression goes like this...
HOW???
And in your own head,one's like :YEAH PUNNNKK!!!
For some reason,nights feel a lot more productive when you're onto something. Daytime just goes by.Something or the other comes up and ...gone,there goes time out of the window.
Night time is like,you put a stick of chewing gum in your mouth,keep double the requisite quantity of coffee(as by now,one is virtually immune to coffee) and set off into the dark.
I keep repeating this but I HATE SLEEP. Trouble is,when I fall for it,I turn into Kumbhakarana! It's written everywhere,GET MORE SLEEP,GET MORE SLEEP!!! 6 hours,7 hours 8 hours...Sounds like someone selling you sleep using some discount scheme.. The discount is your time on earth!
You sleep too less,it seems you start to feel disorientated(Okay,you do feel a bit irritated sometimes)
If you sleep too much,it seems you are at risk of some random heart disease(No clue about this one..)
Yeah,sleep it over..This thing actually works.
But Damn! Why do we get tired? Right now,as you read this,the person who was writing it a while back was fighting this 'tire'anny.
It sort of becomes difficult to get ideas right. All stuff gets jumbled in your head. Strangely,when you're done,you very well know that you are done.Sad part is that you can do nothing about it other than letting your body take over. I don't have much to boast about,but 2 consecutive nights has been my best at staying awake.But the moment you put physical activity into account,the body and mind enter a battle field...Body wins...Hands down. This thing demands too much for carrying the mind around!!!
Somewhere you realize that whatever you are ranting about is...
1-Not making sense
2-Isn't funny
3-Better if stays in your head,rather than coming out into the world.
So you abruptly end the topic.
Good night!
Z..Z.....Z....

Maybe the dots will connect.

It was fun to do it as kids..This one blank page had a number of dots all over it,sometimes numbered as per sequence to be followed while joining them..The fancy books even had the color schemes given to complete the big picture. Most often though,we all did this to get familiar with alphabets,numbers,words,sentences et cetera(Yeah,that's what 'etc' stands for,in Latin,for 'and other things'...obviously). Every day,we learned something new,which even now,we do if willing to. But back then..it sounds slightly weird..about two decades ago,everything went in reverse gear.
Check the scenario for a second. You were given a bunch of dots to connect to get a better understanding of where you were heading.
If you happen to be a 20 something,and were asked to connect the dots to draw the bigger picture of where you are headed.....Well forget it.No point.
It is one of the most frustrating questions you ask yourself,time and again..Now what??
With parents,friends,all ruddy relatives,even more of the unrelated ones asking the same question.."What are your future plans",life is hell. Especially,if you hate the thoughts of a desk-job,it becomes even more difficult.(I have full trust in the fact that,now,more than ever before,No company is going to hire me!!)..
But stick with yourself,it will be easy to realize that things were meant to make sense,which is very much a result of the firm conviction in yourself(It sounds a lot more convincing when your mood is good).
I mean,now,there's Steve Job's Stanford speech about connecting the dots. This is something that will only look right in the hindsight. And I guess it is fair enough. What's the point of knowing where the dots will be,and then feeling great about connecting them? Maybe,it is all about the chase. Then,there's also Rashmi Bansal writing an entire book about "C.nnecting The D.ts"(Okay,that was a bad idea...).
I look back a few months on my 'timeline'(Not on Facebook!!! Real life timeline for a change). I remember sitting in the college library,bored to death.I had this urge to write often. Then,I felt,why not write a blog?? What do I have to lose? What I usually wrote,was left trapped in my notebooks and diaries. In this case,if I did write a blog,the worst thing would be that no one would read it.So I was never worse off..Good for me. Fast forward a few months,I read this article about the 'Top 10 ways to de-stress'. One of them was to work out...Another apparently was to start a blog.. Wow,I was on a fucking roll!!! Basically,I did stuff that left me lower on stress,even without knowing it.
Okay,enough of the cocky part.
Fast forward a few more steps. I had a dream of organizing a TEDx event in my college. In the application form,there's a question which goes like...'Mention any website/blog'(any active online stuff you do)  which would help TED understand you better.'
The smile I had on my face that day,when I filled the application form,is not something I see too often,not that I don't smile otherwise. Sometimes I don't have a reason to double up. My dad tells me,I go mad without getting drunk..GOOD FOR ME!!
So it will all happen.The ups,the downs..we know the whole jig(actually I don't..and trust me,neither does anyone).But it'll be fun I suppose..the thrill of uncertainty and the likes.
We should go back to being kids.Pencils in hand,searching for the next dot,completing the BIG picture.

Alrighty then..

Sometimes,there's this desperation to do something. But trouble is,you have no clue what to do. It feels like you are lying on the bed,badly wanting to sleep,and it's been a while since you are lying down.

There's something about people(other than Mary!)

Given the right ones you get exposed to,what they do,just won't let you sleep. Yes,it's called JEALOUSY!!! Surprisingly,the word jealousy also has in it the word 'lousy'. Now THAT sounded lousy! You see,Jealousy/Envy may be listed as one of the seven sins as per belief(definitely not my belief). But if one strives to improve,it is one of the quintessential forces that can keep you going till you want to,obviously if you only have the leash on it to not let you turn yourself into a complete bum!

Here's an example. There's this guy,whose blogs I follow. He announced his 5000th blog post. He posts about one/2(at max) a day.Basically he hit 5000 over a period of round about 8-9 years. 

Yes! it means two things..Either the fellow is jobless!!

Or..the more interesting part..He is super committed to writing.Mind you,in the past about 17-18 year,apart from blogs,the fellow seems to have written  about 12 books of his own.

The even more surprising thing is that,had I not read his announcement of the 5000th post,I certainly wouldn't be writing this.

Another realization I had is that,my laziness is only till the time I start to write. Once I start,I can't stop.As a matter of fact,before I started,I did not have words to write.

I am usually very concerned about the stuff/topic I want to write about.I randomly get urges in the middle of nowhere to write about THE most random topics that might pop into one's mind at any given point of time. The thought of public good goes out of the window,annnd 15 minutes down,I click the button 'Publish'.

A minute before,I was having the last line of this post in my head...Sorry,I forgot it..

I shall probably leave it with this thought(I know, I am going to finish this one too,and realise...OHH SHIT!! I forgot to write  some 'PQR'..)

Fight! Fight ! Fight!

PQR!

Of chicken and chicks..

If you clicked this link looking for the latest in chicken farming techniques,it has,I assure you,THE most definitive,most scientifically advanced methodology on how,the following content shall keep you from getting closer your dream, i.e. to establishing the most successful chicken farm!!! Shooo!! Shoo!!!!(That's for the birds)

Have you ever been in a situation when there's this girl you want to talk to,kind of badly,but you are scared..not of talking to the girl,but the girl herself.. It is slighhhhtly difficult to explain. What if this one judges you? Yeah girls usually do,not that you give a monkey's tail for that,usually again,but this is kind of not so usual. I am pretty sure,there hasn't been another one who's actually afraid of falling for someone..Is there now? This isn't any socially relevant topic to speak on,except,it sort of screws around my social life,hence,by laws of causality and eventuality and other similar flamboyant,currently irrelevant and most importantly,useless words,this IS an issue of my social relevance.

Bloody hell I sound selfish..

One moment,I have made up my mind, “आज तोह कुछ भी हो जाए,बात तोह करके रहून्गा ”(No matter what happens,I WILL talk to her today!!),then there's this sound from inside, “चल छोड़ ना यार,कल कर लेना बातें ”(Chill dude,Maybe try talking to her tomorrow).

And I am like, “फिर से हो गया पंटा -धार ”(Yeah,Congratulations,you just screwed up)

And this situation goes back and forth for a few days.. Then from somewhere,you get the bad news...

“अरे,उस वाली लड़की को तोह 'वोह' वाला STUD पता गया बे!!”(Hey,that chick has been taken by 'that dude' man!)

“और हम साल दरिया के किनारे,धरे-के-धरे रह गए ”(And I was left to sit helplessly on the beach)

वोह अंग्रेज़ी में कहतें है ना ...फॉरएवर लोनली ...(FOREVER LONELY)

P.S.-

This post has no bearing what so ever to the writer's life(Mostly....). The writer ends up in the 'Forever lonely' category for being too much(exceedingly so) IN-THE-FACE of the girl...Tragically,he does end up in that category(What an achievement,brother!!).

The writer....

Treadmill

Yeah, TREADMILL. Sounds any familiar to the word RUN-OF-THE-MILL ?
Let's break the word 'Treadmill' down. According to the Oxford English Dictionary(Or probably any given dictionary,just that the OED sounds fancy,like lending extra credibility to the meaning) the word means 'a monotonous/mundane task'. Look at it this way. Treading the mill. Reminds you of the industrial age with too many mills around?? Wherever you were to tread(a fancy word for walking/moving about),you would encounter one. Of course the same goes for the term Run-of-the-mill. The boring usual stuff...

Coming to this post,I proudly call myself an avid runner. It is one of the most primal,primitive activity humans have engaged in from the very beginning,that qualifies as a sport.
I love long distances. It keeps people away from me(Good for the people),and me away from people(Good for me) for a good while. Too good to be true right?? So.....
I recently pulled my inner thigh(fancifully called my adductor muscle),basically the thing that helps pull your leg towards the inside. Some random muscle,let's keep it simple..which put a full-stop to my running for the past literally one month(Which made my life really suck for the past one month..).I already had more reasons to make my life suck,but today,I am in a decent mood,so won't bother another soul.
I have been doing basic stuff for sake of rehabilitation and regaining strength. I was slightly skeptical about going all out with my first target after getting back into business,which is a 10 K run.
If you have been to a gymnasium,there's one particular machine over which,too many gym-monger pour too much sweat(literally). Yesssss!! It is the TREADMILL!!!!! They go all huffy-puffy over it for as long as they can remember. It is one of the most boring thing you can think of doing in a gym,not that the other things are very interesting. 3 years ago,even I wanted to join a gym.I was(still am) a Sylvester Stallone fan.I wanted the big guns. Then somehow,the charm of big guns just got lost,no idea how.
When I was at this gym,I remember this trainer..big burly fellow..He said,"The average labor worker gets paid for lifting heavy rocks.Most guys around here pay for lifting weights". Sucks when you are on the receiving end of the joke.....
For the sake of checking if my injury is anywhere closer to healing completely,I closed my eyes and tried the treadmill for probably the third time in life. As usual,it sucked. The thing killed me out of boredom!! Basically this is my ghost typing. The only upside of trying the treadmill is that now my ghost..whatever/whoever is typing this nonsense,realized that my bodily injury is somewhat healing.
Maybe the 10 K target looks a bit closer now..