Aaaaarrrgggghhh!!!! I feel good! (paeiuwaeiuwaeiuwe)

First things first... Try to pronounce the word in the brackets. Until you haven't heard James Brown singing the title of this post, I pretty much bet you won't have a clue of what the ruddy word sounds like. Never mind the word. …................................................................................................................

….................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................. Woops..Sorry. If you live in a hostel, very often, a few interruptions are inevitable...Yeah, it kind of sucks to have your train of thoughts shown the red light. Moving on..

Today, something happened to me, that I was pretty certain, would never happen to me. By the way, yesterday, something(good) happened to me, that I was pretty certain about. Okay, Let's look through the pretty events in order.

I was headed for my mess(apart from the fact that I am usually headed for a mess..), Don't ming the weired stuff coming at you from the brackets.. That's another guy..(This fellow is schizophrenic!!).

Ya, so on my way to dinner, one guy tells me about a senior, for whom, I hold pretty high regards, who got placed in a company that came to our college.

It is actually something that happens every year....Nothing new.. But I know not why, I felt this strange kind of happiness, which I find hard to explain. It was almost as though somehow, in some inexplicable way, I just got closer to being placed myself.

Here's what I felt up till now, what I thought would be impossible to feel....Feeling genuinely good for another person. Yeah, a line like that very conveniently puts me into the category of 'The worst people on the planet'. But not that I give a damn.

I am not going to go to great lengths to convince any soul on how elated I felt after hearing the good news..It makes the whole 'feeling good' feeling seem synthetic.

So? Moral of the story? Huh?? What?? All of it?? What's the whole point?? Minutes of the day?? Summary??

Frankly speaking...I don't know. My situation is of the kind that any source of happiness sounds worth recording in any manner possible. Not that I am running short on such events..but just feels good thinking about stuff that makes you feel good....

Realization 101- Main purpose of life(needless to say) is to be happy..

Realization 102- Equation for happiness isn't linear, quadratic, cubic, bi-quadratic or of any higher order(The guy doesn't know the names of higher order equations by the way....)

The second pretty thing is what happened yesterday...

I left the computer center of my college somewhere around 4.50 in the evening. I was walking out of the college to get to a place(outside college...). I kind of predicted...foresaw....err....hoped....desperately to run into....sorry...walk into(I wasn't running for a change) her. There is this book called 'Blink' written by Malcolm Gladwell, where he writes about how we happen to identify things unknowingly, within a fraction of a second. Something similar happened. She was walking out of the hostel gate. It didn't take me a fraction of a fraction of a second to see who I was going to walk into..and for as long as I remember, I did it very much knowingly.

My mind went for a stroll...as usual... We looked at each other (For the first time, I can confidently say that it was consensual), then we smiled....or whatever I did that came into a meek smile(My impression on what I did, whereas in reality, I would be either doing half of what I did, or I would have scared her with my teeth... Either ways, I guess, I did fine). In return, I saw this sight I had longed to see for over about a year....

Then one word jumped out of her and hit me.. not like a stone, thankfully...more like a serendipitous realization.... “Hi!”

I couldn't really respond as my oratory skills decided to accompany my brain for a stroll. So I somehow managed to muster up what in my head looks like a friendly wave.. I see now, how a smile can floor you....flat on the floor.

It felt good... Bliss has ways of getting to you, I guess.

And I would be extremely shocked to find myself having the balls to post this piece for public viewing.

So...

That feeling of being..

Tottallly out of PLACE!!!

Tonight's the night. I write a line, then I press the backspace button. I type again, again press the backspace. Somehow, after coaxing myself for a while, I simply force myself to ignore the ruddy button. And..the above two lines begin to take shape. Wait!!!

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…................

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I hate these phone calls that disrupt your train of thought... Never mind! Somehow, I am finding it very difficult to form a concrete idea of what's going on inside my head. It's almost like there isn't a reason for me to feel how I am feeling, but at the same time, there isn't a reason for me not to feel how I am feeling. Okay, now the problem with the previous line is that after reading it, I feel that I shouldn't have let it come out into the world...EVER!!

I feel the Blues!! Now, for the first time in my life, I got the meaning of this word right. It's like when you do not feel happy, neither do you feel sad...but rather you feel the frustration of not feeling either happy or sad. Brilliant. For a while,I'll have to walk around in disguise around people who may read this. There is a high likelihood that these folks will hit me with rotten tomatoes/eggs.

Somehow, my humor is totally out of sync.

I FEEL FUNNY! Yet I don't seem funny.... OH!!! How funny..... If this got you laughing, I must say, You have a problem!!

But THAT is not my problem. Somehow the simulator in your mind creates a very different video of things how they turn out in reality. Yes, point accepted that the world would be too boring if that wasn't true. But the thing is that.... NOTHING SEEMS TO MAKE SENSE RIGHT NOW!!!

WoW! Every word coming to my mind seems like a torturous foot covered by the movement of a sluggish glutton! No apologies for the over emphasis, by the way. Yes, this piece of work is as difficult to write, as it is to read.

I'll try my best to think of exactly what has happened.. Something has changed very dramatically in the past 3 months. Maybe temporarily. That is definitely something I have no clue about. It seems so 'UN-ME'. Now the 'backspacing' seems to be kicking in again. It seems to be my sense of self-preservation that sounds as if it is shouting from the top of a mountain. Here's what it is shouting....

“Dude!!! Shut your trap up!!! Someone's just looking for a reason to put a bullet in your head. Trouble with the bullet is that it ain't those things that come out of a gun!! This one's the motorcycle!!!”

And I am like.... “Which model?? Old or new??”

The voice on top of the mountain: “How would that make a difference??”

Me: “If it's the old ones, it will bleed itself of all it's oil and petrol before it comes anywhere close to me”

The Voice on top of the building: “...........................................................”

Yaaayyy!!!!

And then one may ask...”Why put me through this ordeal?”

Little stuff

In a couple of days, it will be a week since I stepped 'back' into my college campus after a pretty fulfilling summer holiday. The first day sucked. Then, it was all back to the normal...the coffee, the desperation, the frustration, the uncontrollable laughter, the leg pulling, pushing, new faces, not so new faces...blah....blah...annd...blah... Okay stop!
I still get the feeling that nothing is happening. The only thing I have done newly is getting myself some company for my evening runs. That's an upside..currently, the only exciting thing(or anything coming close to an exciting thing) that there is.
That girl!! She still ignores me. Just for a change,I try to ignore her too, and partially succeed.... or whatever that means. I happened to have the pleasure of crossing the 1000th page of a book for the second time in my life... Just that the last seven pages of the ruddy book still make me feel guilty for leaving them unread. The fear of getting a cold after running in the rain jumped out of my closed window after I ran in the rain a d did not get a cold. Thankfully, I didn't have to pay anything to the hostel authorities for repairing my windows...
What else?? I feel my mind is rusting out. It feels like a block of cast iron. Hmm...I don't need dumbbells while squatting anymore. As usual, I am over-analyzing my situations. If there is something called a 'Anxiety-due-to-inability-of-creating-humorous-string-of-words-caused-by-inexplicable-circumstances Syndrome', that is exactly what I am suffering from. I am also quite sure that I am going to excuse myself to the washroom for a leak after re-reading this post for errors, for the single reason of looking in the mirror(if there is one in the washroom) and BANGING my head on the nearest wall, for writing this post. I also do realize that if ever I run out of ideas(the thoughts of which wake me up in the middle of my lectures...) I shall remain blank for the remaining time I have on this planet as the contents of this post were the intended contents of the  last-resort-post.. Upside? I will have to think for new content for my last-resort-post. Downside?? I will have to think for new content for that bloody last-resort-post .....again!!!! 

Marine run

I have this thing for going long distances on foot....a bit faster than brisk walking...
I went to Marine drive for a run. For those who know the place, I do not need to tell you why I like this place. For those who don't....

Yeah..THAT!!
It is HANDS-DOWN the best place in the whole of Mumbai...Definitely of the best places I have seen in this short life of mine. Annnd it comes with an added advantage. A HUGE!! LONNNNG (3 km) footpath to run your heart out(okay....eventually, it becomes short).
There's anothier thing about it. It is measured for every 100 meters. There is this granite slab on the floor that has the distance engraved on it from either end of the 3 km....And you are pretty unlikely to notice that if you just go for a stroll...
First time I went here, I jussst could finish a to-and-fro thing on this stretch. Then slowly, I eventually hit the 10k mark recently. This time,when I ran this place.....I kind of got bored.
Yeah, the sun setting by your side, waves of the sea paint a beautiful picture and stuff and whats. But it got boring...not tiring..BORING!!
I wondered why....and eventually, I had a 'EUREKA' moment.
I was getting bored of constantly being reminded that I had done 200......600....1300....2500 meters. And even if you do not intentionally read the so called '100meterstones' which came 16 times before a Milestone, each time I passed a .....stone, it was intrinsically doing the math. Yes, a bit of math won't hurt but it became a bit of an obstruction.
The last time I did a 10k,it was slightly different. I knew I'd done 10 k after I came back and checked the whole thing on google. That day,10k felt pretty not-so-killer-as-I-thought. Probably it was because I wasn't bothered with/by the distance.
There are upsides,though, of measured pavements.... You know you haven't overdone it/know when you have..You don't need google.... You can run specific distances like a 100m sprint or something like that,which usually is rather difficult.
I still feel I can't put the feeling in words why going to-and-fro on a beautiful strip of land is something I do not fancy(few reasons may be obvious)...
I guess I need a new location.