Nowhere to go

You know how kids cough? Their tongues rolled into a tube, mouth opens wide, and they cough like that's the last thing they shall ever be capable of doing in their lives. And they completely forget to cover their mouths. COUGHHU! COUGHHU! I absolutely abhor any living soul who coughs like that. Okay, my mom coughs like that. I apparently don't abhor her. If I can tolerate one person coughing that way, I technically should be able to tolerate everyone who coughs that way. isn't it? Else, I should abhor my mother, strange as that sounds. But as I said, I don't abhor my mother. Neither can I tolerate another soul coughing that way. So that pretty much makes me a hypocrite. It also makes me sound like an idiot. Wow! What a start!

Because of my mom's coughing habits, my sister contracted cough too! Rains, bad weather, easy infections, we all know the drill. So now, my sister has the cough. brilliant. I'm slightly mad at mom for that. Since my sister has cough, she feels weak of sorts. I being the strongest human on the planet, and also the elder one at home, was told to take care of my cute little sister. Strange part is I can't even call my sister "little" anymore. She's taller than I am. From where I see, everyone seems to be taller than I am. Okay, no. My ex isn't. Err... I cannot remember anyone who's not taller than I am. Big deal! I'm supposed to take care of my sister. Let's stick to that. 

I was supposed to drop my frail little sister at the railway station as part of my duty of taking care of her. So off we were. We went and sat in a rickshaw, whose driver wouldn't budge without a third occupant. hence, we waited. For five minutes. FIVE MINUTES! Precious moments of my life, and those of my sister's, lost in waiting for some bugger. If you're wondering why the driver refused to move without the third occupant, STOP immediately. That's because that part of the story is far too long to explain, and at the moment, a complete waste of anyone's comprehension skills. Moving on. 

So the third bugger did arrive. And WOW did he arrive. He was the most hideous smelling creature I'd come across in my lifetime of 23 years, 2 months, and 22 days. Try figuring out my birthday if you're smart! Few extra birthday wishes wouldn't reduce my time on this planet, I suppose. Anyway, this third chap, who was the reason for our losing five precious minutes, was the human version of a skunk. I swear i won't talk about how my sister and I bore his stench. Okay, my sister covered her nose with her handkerchief. She told me to cover my nose with mine. But I thought I'd bear it like a man. Bad call. Besides, I had forgotten my handkerchief. Amazing!

So that happened. And finally, the rickshaw started moving. With a little bit of air circulation, the stench became a bit bearable. Or we just got used to it. It's like how you get used to the smell of your own shit when you take a dump, you see? Initially, you think you'll pass out. But after about 4-5 minutes, you think it is bearable after all. Stay in there long enough, and you'll barely even notice it. Even if there's no exhaust fan in the toilet. Crazy how one can think so much. 

Fine. Stench is bearable. The rickshaw is moving. Now......

Now, this bugger starts glancing at my sister's boobs. He also throws a glance at me, if I am noticing him glancing at my sister's boobs. And I AM noticing this stinky bugger glancing at my sister's boobs. My sister and I make a joke out of this chap's impotence, and everything becomes all right. But not for long. 

Four roads diverged from a place. 

That place was called a junction. 

And it didn't matter which road you took. 

Because the place I am talking about was in Bombay. 

And in Bombay, traffic comes into the junction from each one of the four roads that leads to the junction. The best part about all this is that there's is always, ALWAYS a traffic policeman standing at such a junction. And he has NO clue about whatever the hell it is that's happening. So, in his confusion, he goes about confusing every soul that enters the junction he is standing at. It all ends up being one big commotion, with vehicles entering from all four sides, heading in straight for a gridlock. The best one can do at such times is take out a book and start reading. By the time, one reaches the last few pages, one car would have barely managed to ebb itself out of the jam. Yummy! That is a situation completely independent of a person's reading speed. Besides, from no where, this one drunkard pops up, banging someone's bonnet, shouting how the world is so unfair. I'm still having to breathe in the stench of this ugly bugger. In his attempt at being emphatic, the drunkard pushes one of the bikers stuck in the gridlock, which starts a completely unnecessary, and absolutely avoidable fight. Suddenly, everyone, wants to know what happened, as if they can do something about the unknown situation by knowing about it. In the process, they totally forget that they are stuck in a traffic jam. Few of them, in their enthusiasm, jump into the fight, get whacked on their heads a few times before, out of thin air, cops blow a whistle, and everyone goes back to getting themselves out of the gridlock. By the way, the bugger is still glancing at my sister's boobs. And I SO want to bash his buggery skull into itself. My sister and I have decided not to waste our sense of humor on a stinky bugger. And hence, we both wait for the gridlock to unlock itself. Else, the stinky bugger is getting his skull bashed in. 

Thankfully for the stinky bugger, the jam clears up. And off we are to the railway station. I drop my sister, watch her dissolve into Bombay's crowd. Now, the city has her. Thinking that, I get sentimental. By the time I'm out of my clouded senses, my sister calls me to inform that she's gotten onto her train. I breathe a sigh of relief, thinking that now, my sister is safe in Bombay's bosoms.