Aimlessness, It's the stuff of nightmares. Why? It tucks you to bed at 11.30 in the night, so that nightmares have more time to encroach upon you. It will wake you up late, make you press that snooze button to further the time you can be haunted in sleep. And it won't even end there. The days too are a bit of an issue. You see a thousand things, each of which are rooting for your energy. And hence, your ways meander. And then you get lost. And finally, that's what she says. Although I have no clue who 'she' is.
It's been an enigmatic limbo, this last one month. The eyes go shut, but the lights don't go out. I wake up upside down, wondering where in hell I am, what it is that I am doing. Is there more to things that I see? And how many things there are that I don't? And yet, when I ask myself "Toh phir PROBLEM kya hai"(Then what's the problem?), I can't seem to come up with a pinpoint answer.
A little on the word 'problem' here. I recently met a friend whom I hold in high regard. During a random conversation, I uttered the big 'P' word, Problem, that is. My friend's bewilderment at my utterance left me a little amused at first. Then, he said something that felt like a blow to the head. "There's nothing called a problem! It is always just a matter of two states of mind... WHAT IS, and WHAT WILL BE."
Your 'what is', your current state of dilemma, and the 'what will be', perhaps a position when you no longer have your issues unsorted. The concept feels a lot less daunting instead of one big, heavy word 'Problem'.
Anyway, moving on to issues of the existential angst inducing kinds. Being perversely persistent is a bit of a drawback. That's because you never really know whether to stop or not. Actually, stopping is completely out of the way. More so if a shitty SUV driver tries to cut your lane, that too when you are sitting in a puny little hatchback. Here's what you do when you're stuck in such a situation. Check if the SUV's windows are heavily tinted.
If they are, you change your lane, let the SUV chap do his thing, and drive away as though nothing happened.
If the windows are not tinted, and there's a half balding bloke behind the wheel of the SUV, follow these steps...
Pull up next to the driver. Hurtle curse at him till the time he starts crying. I bet he'll regret his decision of buying an SUV which he thought would solve his mid-life crisis. And then, you hurtle away, leaving the aforementioned driver in your tyre's smoke.
Talking of cars, if you're into that sort of a thing, 'The Stig' should be a familiar term. Ever seen him get off the line with tyres screeching? It's not that hard to do, you know? You can even do it on the most basic of cars. Even the ones that go slower than a horse. Another thing. How much horsepower does a horse have? I'm sure it's more than one.
About spinning wheels when starting off the line.... First gear in, a little power, leave the clutch as swiftly, yet smoothly as possible, while simultaneously POWER POWER POWER!!! Just be a little careful when leaving the clutch. You do it wrong, and the car will jerk 3-4 times and come to a halt because you stalled it. Idiot! By the way, that will also be the end of a potential burnout. Another thing. In case you do get off to a jerky start and the inevitable stall, you're going to laugh your pants off
a) out of sheer embarrassment
b) Because you realized that 'embarrassment' has the word 'ass' in it, and you feel like one. Especially after b),
c) Visualizing the car and yourself jerk, the whole sensation by itself is, well hilarious. It's like a car having an orgasm which failed midway. Sucks for the car.
And we started with aimlessness, I suppose.
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