Maybe the dots will connect.

It was fun to do it as kids..This one blank page had a number of dots all over it,sometimes numbered as per sequence to be followed while joining them..The fancy books even had the color schemes given to complete the big picture. Most often though,we all did this to get familiar with alphabets,numbers,words,sentences et cetera(Yeah,that's what 'etc' stands for,in Latin,for 'and other things'...obviously). Every day,we learned something new,which even now,we do if willing to. But back then..it sounds slightly weird..about two decades ago,everything went in reverse gear.
Check the scenario for a second. You were given a bunch of dots to connect to get a better understanding of where you were heading.
If you happen to be a 20 something,and were asked to connect the dots to draw the bigger picture of where you are headed.....Well forget it.No point.
It is one of the most frustrating questions you ask yourself,time and again..Now what??
With parents,friends,all ruddy relatives,even more of the unrelated ones asking the same question.."What are your future plans",life is hell. Especially,if you hate the thoughts of a desk-job,it becomes even more difficult.(I have full trust in the fact that,now,more than ever before,No company is going to hire me!!)..
But stick with yourself,it will be easy to realize that things were meant to make sense,which is very much a result of the firm conviction in yourself(It sounds a lot more convincing when your mood is good).
I mean,now,there's Steve Job's Stanford speech about connecting the dots. This is something that will only look right in the hindsight. And I guess it is fair enough. What's the point of knowing where the dots will be,and then feeling great about connecting them? Maybe,it is all about the chase. Then,there's also Rashmi Bansal writing an entire book about "C.nnecting The D.ts"(Okay,that was a bad idea...).
I look back a few months on my 'timeline'(Not on Facebook!!! Real life timeline for a change). I remember sitting in the college library,bored to death.I had this urge to write often. Then,I felt,why not write a blog?? What do I have to lose? What I usually wrote,was left trapped in my notebooks and diaries. In this case,if I did write a blog,the worst thing would be that no one would read it.So I was never worse off..Good for me. Fast forward a few months,I read this article about the 'Top 10 ways to de-stress'. One of them was to work out...Another apparently was to start a blog.. Wow,I was on a fucking roll!!! Basically,I did stuff that left me lower on stress,even without knowing it.
Okay,enough of the cocky part.
Fast forward a few more steps. I had a dream of organizing a TEDx event in my college. In the application form,there's a question which goes like...'Mention any website/blog'(any active online stuff you do)  which would help TED understand you better.'
The smile I had on my face that day,when I filled the application form,is not something I see too often,not that I don't smile otherwise. Sometimes I don't have a reason to double up. My dad tells me,I go mad without getting drunk..GOOD FOR ME!!
So it will all happen.The ups,the downs..we know the whole jig(actually I don't..and trust me,neither does anyone).But it'll be fun I suppose..the thrill of uncertainty and the likes.
We should go back to being kids.Pencils in hand,searching for the next dot,completing the BIG picture.

Alrighty then..

Sometimes,there's this desperation to do something. But trouble is,you have no clue what to do. It feels like you are lying on the bed,badly wanting to sleep,and it's been a while since you are lying down.

There's something about people(other than Mary!)

Given the right ones you get exposed to,what they do,just won't let you sleep. Yes,it's called JEALOUSY!!! Surprisingly,the word jealousy also has in it the word 'lousy'. Now THAT sounded lousy! You see,Jealousy/Envy may be listed as one of the seven sins as per belief(definitely not my belief). But if one strives to improve,it is one of the quintessential forces that can keep you going till you want to,obviously if you only have the leash on it to not let you turn yourself into a complete bum!

Here's an example. There's this guy,whose blogs I follow. He announced his 5000th blog post. He posts about one/2(at max) a day.Basically he hit 5000 over a period of round about 8-9 years. 

Yes! it means two things..Either the fellow is jobless!!

Or..the more interesting part..He is super committed to writing.Mind you,in the past about 17-18 year,apart from blogs,the fellow seems to have written  about 12 books of his own.

The even more surprising thing is that,had I not read his announcement of the 5000th post,I certainly wouldn't be writing this.

Another realization I had is that,my laziness is only till the time I start to write. Once I start,I can't stop.As a matter of fact,before I started,I did not have words to write.

I am usually very concerned about the stuff/topic I want to write about.I randomly get urges in the middle of nowhere to write about THE most random topics that might pop into one's mind at any given point of time. The thought of public good goes out of the window,annnd 15 minutes down,I click the button 'Publish'.

A minute before,I was having the last line of this post in my head...Sorry,I forgot it..

I shall probably leave it with this thought(I know, I am going to finish this one too,and realise...OHH SHIT!! I forgot to write  some 'PQR'..)

Fight! Fight ! Fight!

PQR!

Of chicken and chicks..

If you clicked this link looking for the latest in chicken farming techniques,it has,I assure you,THE most definitive,most scientifically advanced methodology on how,the following content shall keep you from getting closer your dream, i.e. to establishing the most successful chicken farm!!! Shooo!! Shoo!!!!(That's for the birds)

Have you ever been in a situation when there's this girl you want to talk to,kind of badly,but you are scared..not of talking to the girl,but the girl herself.. It is slighhhhtly difficult to explain. What if this one judges you? Yeah girls usually do,not that you give a monkey's tail for that,usually again,but this is kind of not so usual. I am pretty sure,there hasn't been another one who's actually afraid of falling for someone..Is there now? This isn't any socially relevant topic to speak on,except,it sort of screws around my social life,hence,by laws of causality and eventuality and other similar flamboyant,currently irrelevant and most importantly,useless words,this IS an issue of my social relevance.

Bloody hell I sound selfish..

One moment,I have made up my mind, “आज तोह कुछ भी हो जाए,बात तोह करके रहून्गा ”(No matter what happens,I WILL talk to her today!!),then there's this sound from inside, “चल छोड़ ना यार,कल कर लेना बातें ”(Chill dude,Maybe try talking to her tomorrow).

And I am like, “फिर से हो गया पंटा -धार ”(Yeah,Congratulations,you just screwed up)

And this situation goes back and forth for a few days.. Then from somewhere,you get the bad news...

“अरे,उस वाली लड़की को तोह 'वोह' वाला STUD पता गया बे!!”(Hey,that chick has been taken by 'that dude' man!)

“और हम साल दरिया के किनारे,धरे-के-धरे रह गए ”(And I was left to sit helplessly on the beach)

वोह अंग्रेज़ी में कहतें है ना ...फॉरएवर लोनली ...(FOREVER LONELY)

P.S.-

This post has no bearing what so ever to the writer's life(Mostly....). The writer ends up in the 'Forever lonely' category for being too much(exceedingly so) IN-THE-FACE of the girl...Tragically,he does end up in that category(What an achievement,brother!!).

The writer....

Treadmill

Yeah, TREADMILL. Sounds any familiar to the word RUN-OF-THE-MILL ?
Let's break the word 'Treadmill' down. According to the Oxford English Dictionary(Or probably any given dictionary,just that the OED sounds fancy,like lending extra credibility to the meaning) the word means 'a monotonous/mundane task'. Look at it this way. Treading the mill. Reminds you of the industrial age with too many mills around?? Wherever you were to tread(a fancy word for walking/moving about),you would encounter one. Of course the same goes for the term Run-of-the-mill. The boring usual stuff...

Coming to this post,I proudly call myself an avid runner. It is one of the most primal,primitive activity humans have engaged in from the very beginning,that qualifies as a sport.
I love long distances. It keeps people away from me(Good for the people),and me away from people(Good for me) for a good while. Too good to be true right?? So.....
I recently pulled my inner thigh(fancifully called my adductor muscle),basically the thing that helps pull your leg towards the inside. Some random muscle,let's keep it simple..which put a full-stop to my running for the past literally one month(Which made my life really suck for the past one month..).I already had more reasons to make my life suck,but today,I am in a decent mood,so won't bother another soul.
I have been doing basic stuff for sake of rehabilitation and regaining strength. I was slightly skeptical about going all out with my first target after getting back into business,which is a 10 K run.
If you have been to a gymnasium,there's one particular machine over which,too many gym-monger pour too much sweat(literally). Yesssss!! It is the TREADMILL!!!!! They go all huffy-puffy over it for as long as they can remember. It is one of the most boring thing you can think of doing in a gym,not that the other things are very interesting. 3 years ago,even I wanted to join a gym.I was(still am) a Sylvester Stallone fan.I wanted the big guns. Then somehow,the charm of big guns just got lost,no idea how.
When I was at this gym,I remember this trainer..big burly fellow..He said,"The average labor worker gets paid for lifting heavy rocks.Most guys around here pay for lifting weights". Sucks when you are on the receiving end of the joke.....
For the sake of checking if my injury is anywhere closer to healing completely,I closed my eyes and tried the treadmill for probably the third time in life. As usual,it sucked. The thing killed me out of boredom!! Basically this is my ghost typing. The only upside of trying the treadmill is that now my ghost..whatever/whoever is typing this nonsense,realized that my bodily injury is somewhat healing.
Maybe the 10 K target looks a bit closer now..

Revelation 2013...

This ain't a sadder rip-off of the 'greatest book' ever written in Indian history by 'THE ONE'(Err isn't that Neo from The Matrix trilogy?? Apparently no..), 'THE ONLY' dude who somehow has figured out What Young India Wants.... How did he know?? I am 21..I mean I am er...young(Yeah I just figured that out now),I am an Indian,annnnd I have no clue what so ever what I want... Let's quit the usual bull okay?

I often have mood swings that resemble a sinusoidal curve... So technicality kept aside,I have a sinus issue. This is resembling stuff that comes out from the backside of a huge thing with two horns...SSMMMOKE!...Yeah,you got me,the 'thing'  is the truck of a farmer from Punjab...(Even I am wondering why he has 2 hons instead of one..) MOVING ON...

Yeah so the sine curve.. Sometimes it just so happens that the lower part of the curve gets to me real bad. Now I...figured out a way to bend around this curve..  

Think of the worst that could happen in your situation. If you are coming out alive on the other side, until you forgot to look left,then right,and then left again while crossing the road, and someone on the road,sitting in a car,or even better,the Punjabi truck waala wanted to teach you a lesson for not following safety precaution while crossing a road by ramming the truck into you.....you can be a bit happier than what you are..

I feel like the SUPER GURU of all unhappy folks. And after typing that previous line,I feel like shit! So imagine the worst,feel the BEST!! The only reason I happen to drop this advise is so that ,iffff, someone reads this,(someone forbid his/her misery) and finds me gloomy on a nice looking day,they can at least tell me that I am a hypocrite..

For some very mystical and Kung-fuey reason,I figure there ain't no use being sad. Reason??The next bloke cracking a 'Sardar' joke will send you Rolling On The Floor laughing...,If you are of the category who uses the  expression ROTFl  and wonder what it means...nevermind. To the remaining, all apologies for the verbosity,folks.

AAAArrrrghhhh!!! Almost forgot!!!(Thankfully before I got beaten up!) All references to Sardarjis' is purely in light context...What I write is as it is highly likely to be misconstrued...
As a matter of fact,by Sardarjis' ,there's a thing I'd like to share(Apart from simply pressing a button most often..)

Here goes...

A few friends visited Delhi on a Holiday
and they hired a Taxi and went around.
They were "Fortunate" to have a Taxi driven by a Sardar.
Unmindful, they went on cracking Sardar Jokes One after another.

The Sardar  was mindful of His Work only.

Occasionally he smiled too without making any comments.

 

At the end of their trip they looked at the meter and gave the Sardar the Money for which the Sardar replied:

"I don't want your money but instead you take this Rs 5"

surprised the friends asked :"Why"

"No.If you meet any Sardar Beggar on the streets pls donate this Rs 5 to him"

 

The friends said "It is True..they never ever saw a Sardar Beggar on the streets!"

 

Despite all the Jokes on them..they Work their way thro..

Others Joke their way somehow!

To all my turbaned friends..Paji,tussi great ho!!

---

Is it that hard??

For the past over 2 hours, I have been..well writing and...thinking about a bunch of things..
Hell with it!! My mind is simply torn in pieces!! I am to fill this questionnaire having a few questions(Oh,since when did questionnaires start having questions in them??) Yeah,clearly the questions have gotten o me. Actually it is more like the profoundness of the questions that happens to have gotten to me.
When we're kids,we are asked stuff like 'What do you want to be when you grow up?' or maybe someone asks you a simple addition problem(the guy's a freaking nerd,the one who asked you the math problem..).You answer it correctly,you get a pat on the back,maybe if the nerd's carrying a chocolate,that too. Your parents are not able to breathe out of happiness,and you think your I.Q. surpasses that of Einstein and everything goes happily (mind the lack of 'ever after') until the same humble question 'what you want to do after growing up' comes in front of you in a slightly altered way 'What are you passionate about in your life'. Now this is a trick question.. Here's the trick..You are asked this question...AFTER you turn into the supposed 'grown up'...
That's like this... If you are a minister under a dictatorship,and the king/ruler asks you how long it will take (practically of course) to implement a particular policy,let us take this 'practically possible' time as about 6 months. Now the ruler tells you to consider today,i.e. the day he orders the policy implementation,as the last day of that ruddy practical 6 month time frame. You go like.."Shit,We're in deep shit!!"
We know that If you want to live at least a 'Happily TEMPORARILY after' life,you need to make your passion your work. So basically I wasted a complete line/sentence telling you what everyone knows.
But if you happen to know what EXACTLY your passion/s in life is/are in superb clarity,then before I write my favorite line(in a minute..),I bow to you,your excellency..But then "I shall" also "find you,and kill you!!!"(Speciallly of you're under 21) Howwww??? Howww?? How do you pull this off?
I obviously decided to spare your life if you are reading this..
If I want to answer the question without slightest prudence,I will honestly say I am passionate about being famous,YES I am cocky while I say that,YES I am abbbbsolutely sounding nuts,and frankly I don't have a clue of how I shall/will become famous.
This brings me to 2 words that I have been procrastinating to use for the longest time ever..

POSITIVE PRESSURE
I realized that what I write is actually an inner response to publicly announce my intentions to the world. You see,If you leave your thought to yourself in that tiny corner of that brain of yours,you always have a choice of forgetting that thought,of telling it a nice little TATA,and strangulating it till it dies. To the outside world,your thought never existed. When you announce the thought to the universe,you want to work towards your goal a lot more instead of the usual case that obviously happens a lot more...Not that the world may care,but some external attack is a lot more likely.Post inception,it is an intrinsic tendency of every organism to protect it's best interests. So you protect your ideas,hopefully nurture it and,it eventually grows into 'the' big coconut tree(Life or a part of it,lived in Kerala has it's own quirks I see..)
This surely has it's downsides,but what doesn't?

And what I am shooting for right now,are ideas...Ideas worth spreading,or the people who can be the vehicle for this idea.Maybe,as the saying goes,'An Idea can change your life'...Yeah,mine's round the corner I suppose,or desperately hope..
I desperately want to write a book of my own,and not of the self-help variety!! I can see how badly I am boring myself.This is all about I,the Me and the Myself every how! Amen..
Anyone around?? I am feeling pukishly insane by the way!! Helllllowwwwww!!!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This feels like a conversation with the girl you have a huge crush on/are madly in love with(trust me,this feeling,I know for sure)...It's like,you think about a thousand things that you have in mind that you want to tell her,and when the time comes to yap,you can't open your mouth!!
The feeling sucks,I tell you!!
In the mean time,if possible,let me know how you answer the damn question!!

It just gushes out!!!

Wow! I have been so successful in not making you think of a freakish orgasm! Oooh! 'ORGASM'!! Did I just utter some obnoxious word which isn't to be uttered in public? Just kidding!
It has been 3..umm 4 I guess days since I last wrote. So for the past 4 days,I have been making the world a better place to live in. You see,you feel absolutely great when you put yourself in a position that is so indispensable that *...err wait a minute...,okay this is super awkward...How in the universe do you manage to forget what you were about to say in the middle of the sentence?? Let's move on for now by putting a '*' where I left the sentence midway,so next time you see a '*',you know what just happened. I HAD AN AMNESIA ATTACK!! THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED!!!! Yeah..

It's been a while that I am uncontrollably banging my head around.Not that I remember the places I banged my head,but there is this crappy head ache that I have. Yeah. I just have a head ache I  guess. My fingers have been itching to write something. Anything!! It just so happens that apart from being someone desperate, I also happen to be the super human version of a procrastinator.
It's like if I were to do something, My body just finds a way to do anything but 'THE' something. You know what? I have seen too many people being too proud of themselves for being procrastinators.. NOW THAT!! sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger(Yay!!Hurray! I got the spelling of Schwarzenegger correct without looking for it in google!!!) looking like a fat arse instead of a beefcake,sitting on bicycle while trying to chase T-2000. By the way,If you haven't see Terminator,YOUR LIFE OFFICIALLY SUCKS!! You deserve a big huge certificate acknowledging your suckiness(does this word exist?)!!
Back to procrastination,by the way,human ability absolutely surprises me. I mean,
Every time I look in the mirror,
All these lines,on my face getting clearer..
The past is gonnnnne,
It went by,like dusk to dawn...
Isn't that the way,Everybody's got their dues in life to pay......
Err NO!!
You see,I have this innate ability to produce absolutely  meaningless pieces of text Consistently,Relentlessly let's go a step further..Ammmazingly! (No rotten tomatoes please..)

Yeah,This is my version of ...well CREATIVE EXPRESSION. Now..If you don't get this,"I shall find you..And then I shall kill you." And before I kill you,I will click a photograph of you holding a certificate that irrevocably pronounces you as the wife of...err..crap! It just has to happen when I am  completely in a mood to kick arse!! And then I look something like this...

And since I hate to be 'politically correct' I also realize that I might be on my way to getting a bullet put in my head..

Funny side up,now a bit of a sentimental part to the post....I mean,till when am I going to be 'the guy who tries to make you laugh...and miserably fails??' WHATT?? You don't laugh?? 

Again...Why so serious??