On near-misses

A lot of professionals, each, veterans of their respective crafts, have written "On" a lot of things. For instance, Stephen King has written a book, his autobiography of sorts, called "On Writing". Zig Ziglar, one of the best salesmen of the 20th century, has written "On Selling". And if I go on to give more examples, the list would be endless. And to be honest, the fact is that I cannot recollect any more examples. But, the point I want to convey is that, once someone turns into a "Pro" in what one does, it looks like a worthwhile investment of time to write a book titled 

"On *whatever one's craft is*". 

If you are smart enough to see that 2+2=5, then, by now, you would have pieced together the title of this post and the gibberish in the previous paragraph. As a result, you would have also figured out what your dear future author is an expert at. 

So today, I am going to type to you about near-misses. And I shall specially focus on near misses in a social scenario. 

But first, i shall make it crystal clear as to what I mean by 'near-misses'. It is the situation where everything in the world conspires to unite you to your destiny of choice, and you magically manage to mess things up. And I, proudly claim to have mastered this magical ability. I also hope my father's never going to read this. Without digressing too much, I shall shift my focus to the social aspect of near misses. 

Ever been in a situation when you are walking toward an acquaintance, you wave at them, and they don't recognize you, and you have an "Oh, Shit!, What do I do!? What do I do!?" moment? There's another situation, where you wave at someone who looks like someone you know, but on closer inspection, turns out not to be the person you thought he/she was. And again, you're like "Oh, Shit!, What do I do!? What do I do!?".

These are situations you can laugh off, and write about later in life, while telling your story to a bunch of supposedly 'avid readers'.

But let's just take the "Oh, Shit!, What do I do!? What do I do!?" moment to the next level. 

The scene is set. 

You enter the scene. It is your college canteen. You go to the counter to place your order. It is the usual lady on the other side of the counter. You smile, she smiles, and you finally give her your order. Now, about the lady behind the counter....

She is a usual looking lady, the understated beautiful type. Her beauty doesn't jump at you screaming "You donkey! Can't you see I'm beautiful??!!"

But today, for some reason, she's looking really good! Perhaps, it is her off-white dress that did the trick. Goodness knows what it is that enhanced her looks, but whatever it is, has worked. And hence, you finally, after a wee bit of hesitation, decide to pay the lady behind the counter a compliment. So you turn to her, and say something like "Your dress colour really suits you"(in Malayalam). 

Two words. BAD TIMING.

While I was saying this out loud, she was in the process of turning her head to look for something. And all the words I blurted, that I had aimed at her ear, went and hit the wall behind her head. And no, the words didn't ricochet off walls to reach her ears. 

And I stood there hoping no one heard me. I was thinking to myself, "Oh, Shit!, What do I do!? What do I do!?"

See? perfect setting. Beautiful lady, bad-ass guy, nice lines, and still... AND STILL!! A BIG SCREW-UP!!!

Next time around, Timing is key. Check. 

Case Number 2.

There was a Durga Pooja in the college. And a very dear friend of mine was part of the organizing team. So as far as I was concerned, it was time to DANCE! My first time ever! And I bathed in my own sweat. Everything was going cool. I was about to break down after all the break-dance. Suddenly, from the corner of my field of vision, I saw a friendly acquaintance sitting silently, amidst all the noisy music. And my mom taught me to never leave a beautiful lady alone. No, mom never taught me that, but anyway. She is cute and everything, but, err (brain fart..) No clue what to type next....

So just to regain a bit of my energy, I felt it would be the perfect time to take a break. I walked up to and sat right next to her. We had the standard murmurs. And it was purely platonic. And I was getting bored. And like a dumb-ass, I said to myself "Let's get out of here." instead of telling the same to the lady next to me. *FACEPALM*!! Not that she was necessarily going to get up and do "Dhating Naach", but the odds of that happening, given the loud background score, was probably 50-50. What sucks is that..... I have no clue what sucked. Now that sucks. 

Wow! I sometimes wonder if I should let out such intimate details of my personal life in the public domain. But then again, who cares? I get to practice writing in the process, and some bloke gets free advice as to what not to do in life. And it all seems like I get a kick out of all the sadomasochism, which is obviously not the case. 

So until next time, hopefully, I shall be able to turn the tide around in my favour, and also be able to give a better account on what to do, as against what not to. Stay "tunn!"