Right from childhood, we are all force-fed this idea about being good. Be good to elders, be good to kids, be good to the chaps and folks we happen to exist around, be good to everyone in general, do the correct things, things that you are supposed to do! The people who told us all this, tell us all this, and will tell us all this, are so many in number! Their's is the perfect sales pitch that can ever exist! Imagine a shop where all they sell you is one product. Next, imagine all the shops selling the same product as the first shop is selling. Now, in case your ability to imagine has not diminished, imagine that you have a LOT of money. Here's the caveat. You can have all the money in the world, but there's only one product that you can buy. Sucks, right? Now replace that 'product' with the idea of being good. It is inescapable! Our parents, teachers, elders, and all the unimportant population will tell us the same thing! Be good! Be considerate, polite, well mannered. Don't cause troubles, intentionally or unintentionally.. The religions take it to an altogether new level. They create lists of what to/NOT to do. Seven deadly sins? Ten commandments? Another bunch of lists from which ever religion one may please, although mind you, this post is not about religion and/or its fallacies. That may be a topic for another post of mine, just in case my creative juices get flushed out of my backside one fine morning.
There's something that has been bothering me for a while in this line of "being good". Remember the time, when we were in class, and there used to be someone's birthday?And most of us would get very happy with the prospects of getting chocolates from this birthday guy/girl? I often remember the time when we had to make this clown of a person stand in front of the class and sing the "Happy Birthday" gig for the kid. What I remember more distinctly is how much I hated doing it. Seriously! Why would a bunch of kids randomly sing the "Happy Birthday" song in such a crappy manner? Why sing it in the first place? Oh yeah! Because we want to make everyone feel SO happy! Specially if it is the day they popped out of their mother's..... err, forget it!
I don't want to sound hypocritical, but I totally felt like a complete rock star when I was called to the front of the class on my birthdays, despite the fact that the kids who sang for me, their singing sucked! Completely! I know...Sad solipsistic existence of mine... I used to look forward to the day primarily because of the ladies. Specially if I had a big crush on any of them. Teachers specially.
I'm not sure if this is a 'guy' thing, but boys usually have a crush on at LEAST one of their teachers during their school life. Women are great teachers in the lives of men in general. And that, I just said to sound intelligent, but guys usually fall for teachers a lot more often than we'd care to admit. We probably have a thing for the teacher types.
In case it is a girl I had a crush on, who inevitably had to come and say the three magical words to me on this day, the three magical words being "Happy birthday, Hari..", goodness! My head would race so much into the future that I'd have the names of our two kids ready in my mind. The girl's name would start with 'N', and the boy's name.... err... well. I haven't thought about that one yet.
And I have so badly deviated from what I wanted to say!
So, birthdays were awesome as long as they were mine, or in case I got the sweets without having to sing the "Happy Birthday" thing.
Now, coming to the thing that I want to say...
It is about feeling good about good stuff happening to other fellows. This is another thing we are told regularly. Feel good when something good happens to others. In my head, an internal voice says "I don't care a penny whether good or bad happens to others", but just to avoid conflict, I just nod my head to avoid conflict. You see? There's tragedy! We do everything in the name of avoiding conflict.
From where I see, the whole of humanity is a Spartan race, that has been tamed to curb its natural instincts. That school of thought makes me particularly happy because thinking of it, imagine if we all looked like Gerard Butler in "300"! Awesome, right?
So, coming back to feeling good for the good happening to others...
Take the birthday example. I had a hard time maintaining my phony smile when I was singing the Birthday song. Ever had the experience, when you started off with a smile when you didn't want to smile, but withing seconds of holding onto that smile, your cheeks force the size of your smile to grow smaller, then your face turns droopy, and you know that you cannot hold onto the smile any longer? That's what I'm talking about. If you haven't had that 'droopy smile' experience that I just explained above, you are either non-existent, or you are lying!
It is the same non-enthusiastic feeling I get when I am SUPPOSED to wish some chap I don't give a shit about, on an occasion, say, if he got recruited into some company during campus placements. Mind you, I have nothing against this fellow. Besides, good for him, for all I care. I'll give you an example.
Recently, I ran into a friend of mine. From thin air, he mentioned that a guy, our mutual acquaintance, got picked up by a company that came to our college for recruitment. I do not like this bloke a lot. I have nothing specific against him, but there's something about the guy that doesn't allow me to get along with him. It is probably because he's dating the girl I once liked, or what, I know not! Why the hell am I being so candid??
Anyway, so this friend of mine informs me about this mutual acquaintance who got placed. Now here's the deal. The moment I heard of this news from my friend, I turned around and started walking in the direction of this mutual acquaintance's room to wish him on this auspicious occasion of he getting placed. I went to his room, shook his hand, and tried to get the hell out of the place as fast as I could. On my way back, I met the friend of mine who had informed me about the acquaintance's placement. My friend asked me something on the lines of
Friend: You're not happy for him?
I wanted to kill my friend that very instant for saying that. But instead, I said something like
I: Well, why would I not be happy?
Inside my head, I was shouting "You good-for-nothing! I do not give a rat's arse about that chap whom I just wished!!"
The worst part is that my friend knows about the acquaintance dating the girl, whom I used to like. So, basically, he was playing with my head. And for that, I hate the bastard!
But seriously, so much troubles for feeling good for the good of others. Jealousy is another very disconcerting thing. You know what is more disconcerting? Our slowly diminishing ability to be impolite. You know what fat people are called in more 'civilized' societies? HORIZONTALLY CHALLENGED... Some challenge that is! And what is with the whole SPECIALLY ABLE label? With it, no one's making the world a better place. Sorry! It is not going to reduce anyone's troubles. Yes! By all means, we can tackle the problems we are faced with. But let's not muddle truth and political correctness with the help of Jargon.
Somehow, hopefully, we all can be a little less fake about our emotions.
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