Indian Benelli Triumphs

If anyone reading this feel that the title of this post makes perfect sense grammatically, you're probably right. And yet, if one happens to be smart, there's something unique about it, the heading. 

Yesterday was "Shorty's day out." As usual, I set out to win the world, exactly how I set out every single day. That's been the case for the past two weeks. Anyway, yesterday was an out-and-out day out, And for starters at least, I could happily say that I was living THE dream. 

Now, you see, I have a thing for automobiles. Bikes, specially. So when you get to go around the entire city, hopping, skipping and jumping across motorbike showrooms, the kind that house within them bikes that make every gear-head drool, just to find out and sample all the latest pieces on offer, and that is part of your job description, then you are living the dream. Well, sort of. Unless of course you ride these mouthwatering beauties, and THEN write about them for a living. Well, I'll get to that too. But some time later. 

As I begin to delve into this about-to-be incessant rant about myself, I realize that each one of us has a story to tell. Each one of us. And there are more than 7.2 billion of us. And quite a big chunk of those are interesting, or definitely worth listening to. I'm not claiming mine is. I ain't claiming that mine isn't either. But there is so much each one of us is going to miss out on, and we can't do a thing about it. None of that matters, as long as I get to take over the world. Does it?

Something just came to my mind. Doesn't everyone, at least once in their life, think that he/she wants to rule the world? For every guy, it is as Philip Seymour Hoffman says in the movie "The Talented Mr. Ripley" goes...

"God, don't you want to fuck every woman you see at least once?" 

I don't know what stops us, to start with. Maybe it's our "apparent" lack of  know-how as to where to start from, for starters. I was traveling in the Metro-Rail in Bombay. I realized something then. The Metro that I was traveling in, is private property, no matter how badly, rather well the whole metro-rail project seems dressed up like it isn't. Like "Taggart Transcontinental" in the book Atlas Shrugged, the Bombay metro reeks of one thing, and one thing alone. RELIANCE!! And I wondered. One company actually controls the transportation infrastructure(okay, a part of it) of a city like Bombay. And the roots of that company begin as a TEXTILE firm! And so, if the rest of us remain bound to our struggles of making a living, BOY do we lack imagination!

There is something so ethereal about wild imaginations. Yet, imagination is a gift we all possess. And so far, we know not of any other extra-terrestrial intelligence. Yet. But if we do find them, rather if they find us, we sure are dead. For their capacity to locate and contact us will mean that....

a) They are a much higher order civilization than ours, which implies...

b) We're screwed

c) For a change, all of this is not going to be shot in United States of America.

Yeah, so as I was saying, I got to roam around all of Bombay, visiting my favorite automobile-showrooms. That was yesterday. Today was just as good. I left behind all of my worries about alien-invasion, world-domination and all that which gives me sleepless nights. Today was called "How-to-ride-a-bike" day. For some reason, it came naturally to me, riding a bike. I was given a basic set of rules I was to strictly adhere to. And off I was, with an engine thumping between my legs, apart from my joystick, of course. If you know what I mean. Wait. Was I too vulgar? Well, I almost forgot to mention that I almost squished my balls trying to swerve around a kid that wandered into my path because the kids' mother was stupid to let the kid scamper around in the middle of the road. 

About the cost of a life, I never used to understand why people are so crazy about kids.... or about having kids, or in many cases, about not having kids. And now, I have a problem. I'm beginning to think about sex. I'm tired of thinking about sex. I wonder why I am saying this. It's one of those things that I suppose is part of late-stage-adolescence. Or maybe it isn't. Who knows. So about kids, this obsession about shit-piss-&-puke producing factories. Yuck! Sure, they look cute. But if one thinks these lively creatures are hideous, then I wonder what one would think of the creatures these tiny tots grow into. Misery loves company, I guess. So we get kids to turn them into creatures like ourselves, more so replacements for ourselves after we're long gone. So much for keeping our kind alive. I have no clue why I let out the last paragraph out of the confines of my mind. 

Next up, Zakir Khan! (Part of) His name is Khan, and he's not a terrorist. He looks like a laborer,but he is not from Bihar. But hell, he's hilarious! He said something about chaps who get into engineering. During school, guys have a bunch of girls around. Somewhere in time, class 10 exams come along, and we happen to choose our subjects that we intend to pursue for future education. The chaps who take Mathematics know for a fact that in life, they will have nothing to do with ladies. Then these poor fellows get into an engineering college. Fewer ladies around. By the time they get into an IT job, even their dreams don't have ladies in them. It's probably themselves running from a hungry dinosaur. Or if someone is talking in their dreams, it'll be two guys. I have something to say here. All of the above is personal experience, except for the IT job. I escaped that part by some miracle. But then, my father has a knack of finding houses for my family where no ladies of my age-group, or even in a +/- 5 years age bracket happen to reside anywhere close by. And if some girl happens to reside in my 200m radius, who also happens to fall into this above mentioned age-bracket, my sister magically happens to get into a fight with this female. And so, I live on, to another morning to conquer the world.