I still remember the day before my 18th birthday. Well, sort of. I mean, the prospects of turning into an adult in a matter of just 24 more hours left me with an inexplicable anticipation. If you are an adult, I'm sure you can relate. In case you can't relate to what I just wrote, you're not an adult yet. Or you are a very unexcited person in general. My today's agenda is world-bashing, so please feel free to get offended at every remark I make.
The world we live in is on a mission to wring out every drop of the child inside each of us. From when we've been kids, it's always been "Act matured!", "Act matured!", "Act matured!". End result? If we survive the ordeal of middle age, we end up holding all the pent up childhood between our legs and turning into senile oldies.
Look carefully. No one does anything to force us into the "mould" we find ourselves inside. There is something inherent in our make-up that suggests strength in number. And hence, flocking together seems convenient. So we readily give up fun, joy and pleasure, which also strangely happens to be an inherent part of our innate nature.
There's something about songs that trigger emotions that remain repressed usually. Tis specially if you can understand the lyrics. A lot of times, very profound lines find themselves inside songs, and often times, go unnoticed, because of our ignorance.
Here's the line that's really driving me crazy right now...
मन बोले की रस में जीने का हरजाना दुनिया दुश्मन।
(Mann bole ki Ras mein jeene ka harjaana Duniya dushman)
Which translates to "The fine you pay for living as per your wishes is enmity with the world".
As a kid, I wanted to grow up. Big mistake in wishing for something like that. Grow up, and there's this onslaught of all the inescapable Shoulds, Coulds, Supposed tos, and Musts'.
One won't be appreciated for one's good work. Appreciation is only a sign that you delivered well that which was expected of you. You aren't to choose your leaders. If you do, the leaders should comply with criteria prescribed in some textbook! You see, everything is standardized. It's like this.
In an experiment, where one needs to plot a graph, and the expected result is a straight line, what we do everyday is...
We simply ignore stuff that we can't get hold of. Why? We've lost our ability to ask or "Whys". It was beaten out of us when we were in school. Either that, or we just happen to be scared to be the only raised hand amid a sea of scared heads. Nothing like what we were when we were kids. If we had something that remained unresolved in our head, up went the hand without a second thought. Now? Of those who manage to raise their hands, they prop their elbow on the desk, pointing their index finger to the roof, suggesting that they're not clear with what just happened. It's like the part of their arm between their shoulder and elbow has been sequestered from their bodies.
We play silent games. If there is something unresolved between people, they ignore whatever it is that remains unresolved. They even ignore each other. For as adults, we know that no problem remains a problem if ignored long enough. Hence, why go through all the pain of resolving things, when they can just be ignored? The only resolution we concern ourselves with is that of the screens of our hand-held devices.
Now, a thing about fear. We don't do most of what we want to do, purely out of a fear of consequences that we have simulated in our scared little heads. Again, look at a kid. He/she does things without fear, because fear is a stranger to the kid. Whether or not the kid succeeds is a completely different question. What if the kid was bogged down by some deep instilled fear, even before doing something? Forget the outcome. The kid wouldn't even begin what he/she was going to. If that has happened, we aren't looking at a kid at all. The person is an adult already.
And mind you, my frustration doesn't stem from only that what I see happening outside me. As a matter of fact, the source of my frustration is when I see myself betraying the voice inside my own head. It is when my body stops at a time when my mind is saying "Don't relent". Then, I see I see someone else doing the same thing as I, and I feel that a part of me has lost its battle against the world, against The Wall, against every brick in that wall.
What is it that makes brazen comments from a kid sound cute and charming, but abhorrent when uttered by a "Grown up"?. We get all uptight and offended, so badly wanting to get hold of the joystick of life. Give that joystick to a kid. Watch the kid have fun. This is not just proverbial bull. Watch a kid playing with a joystick. You'll see the "Joy" coming out of a joystick. That's what a joystick is for anyway, isn't it?
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