Unbroken again

I don't like the way it hurts. Specially when I know that I am going to get hurt. Even more so when a part of me tells me a thousand times....

"Don't go there!! Don't go there!!!"

I go there nevertheless, thinking that I'm the man of steel.

And that nothing can harm me. 

But like steel, I have iron inside. But none of the things that shall allow me to bend. None of the things that will allow me to get away with a small dent. For I can withstand. And then.... I crack. Because I am brittle. 

And then, the river, whose flow I have been stopping for a while too long, breaks right through me, flooding everything, leveling everything that comes in its way. 

What had been a beautiful sight up until this day, will have long gone beneath.

Everything will be forgotten. For those who can't, will have to learn how to forget. And so, shall it go on.  

Or shall I fight with water? Now that I know that defeat is inevitable, why retreat? Not that by retreating, shall I redeem my chance to make history. Even a single step back, and water will encroach upon the little space that I had claim over. So I shall stand my ground, either till the tide recedes, or till I have breath in me. 

All the while, I still wonder...  Why did I go? For I knew as a matter of fact, what I was about to see. I knew how misery awaited me so dearly. And I knew that this evening would go by, with not an ounce of happiness in it for me.

Now, I feel like a sadist. Maybe I wanted to feel pathetic for a change. Maybe I wanted to see her. Maybe I wanted to see her steak her glance away from me. And maybe, I wanted to see how far I could go without breaking. But I did break. Although little did I know that I could mend myself so fast. And now that I feel stronger than ever before, let's do this all over again!