Chuck the "Fuck"

It was some time ago that someone told me that I've substantially reduced my usage of the word "Fuck" in my verbiage. There was obviously no effort from my end that resulted in this change. And neither had I observed this subtle change in myself. But for some very strange reason, the change felt very welcome. Specially since the "someone" who happened to tell me about it was a lady. I am pretty sure that had it been a guy who told me about such a change, I would have felt like a complete pussy, and as a consequence, this post wouldn't have been possible. Maybe I'm getting a little too candid. Anyway, moving on, as usual!

Here's what happened. For some reason, I heard myself saying "Fuck" while dreaming the other night. Don't ask which other night. So, as I heard myself, I sounded a wee bit crass. A bit uneducated. The word "Ungentlemanly" describes what I felt about myself, spot-on! This is despite Gentlemanliness never having been my forte. I do greet people well, or so I think. Umm.. What else? Opening doors for ladies has never felt like a chore. But my tongue has never been under my control.

I for one, am a Self proclaimed connoisseur of the word "Fuck". Goodness! I spelled "Connoisseur" correctly at first go! Yeah. So basically, I drop the word "Fuck" in virtually any and every sentence. It surprises me if the word doesn't pop up in three consecutive lines. One cannot blame the word for its versatility. Look carefully. "Fuck" can be used as all parts of speech. I mean, check this out...

As a verb(sing, dance, work)

I fuck. They fuck. We fuck.

As a noun(Thing/Person)

I don't give a fuck.

Or

Hey, Fucker! How's it going?

As an adverb(describes a verb, very, really)

This shit is fucking amazing!

As a Pronoun(He, she, it)

X is an ass. Fucker's also an idiot!

As an interjection(short exclamation, Oh! Ouch!)

FUCK!!! Oh FUCK!!!

Looks like we can't use "Fuck" as a conjunction, preposition, and an adjective. Strange.

The thing is, I've been looking for a New-Year resolution. "Studying" did not fit the bill. I wanted my goal to be realistic. 

"Reading more books" is already there on the list of resolutions. 

Losing weight is.... well, out of question. You see, when you have Adonis's blessing, you don't need to worry about your weight. Whoops! Now, I'm being cocky. 

So giving up my copyright word, at least from my regular jargon, seems like a good option. It is more than sufficiently challenging a task. And since I was on my way to doing this, unknowingly albeit, why not go all the way? Time to turn a bit "gentlemanly"!

So this post is to me, what the last day of binge drinking would be to someone planning on quitting drinking. 

Here goes nothing, then. There are 2 parts to a person's life, as far as speaking the English language is concerned. One part is "Before knowing about the word Fuck". The second part is "After knowing the word FUCK". 

Before knowing about the word Fuck, the word never existed for you, like all other things that never existed till we came to know about it. It's like Gravity or blackholes, or arseholes. We discovered them, understood them better, as we progressed with time. Some aspects of such phenomena still remain elusive to our understanding.  But just because we hadn't discovered these phenomenon, that never meant that these were absent.

After knowing the word FUCK

It starts as "the forbidden word". It turns into the word that makes you think that you sound cool. Then, you realize that maybe, it's not all that cool after all. Then comes a stage when your use of "Fuck" damages your image behind your back. And finally, comes the stage when you realize that it is high time that you break yourself out of the grapple of "FUCK", specially when the word starts haunting you in your dreams.

Some time ago, I was talking to someone, with whom I usually used "Fuck" very freely. But during that last conversation, I was almost about to utter "Fuck", and I changed my mind and said "Freak" instead. That's the power of dreams!!

 

To be very frank, the word hasn't lost its novelty in my head. Just that my use of the word has offended people I hold dear, despite not intending to do so. Besides, overusing "Fuck", like the overuse of anything too strong, simply lessens the impact of the word that it usually entitles itself to.

It's like using steroids in bodybuilding. It works like magic, steroids, when bodybuilders start using it. Then, the body starts developing tolerance to the steroid, which leads to its increased usage. Eventually, steroids screw up the health of the bodybuilder. 

Another example is something, I feel, I shouldn't be writing. But I'll write it anyway. 

It is like saying "I love you". If you say it to the right person, and if you time it right(whatever that means), it works like magic!! But if you go about saying that to too many people, the line just loses its importance, not only for the person you say it to, but also in your own head. 

Moral of the story being, use STRONG stuff sparingly. But don't keep yourself from using STRONG stuff at all, out of fearing its limited supply. 

That got a bit too abstract I guess. Nevertheless....

Chuck the Fuck,

Fuck the chuck,

Chuck the Chuck,

Fuck the Fuck,

At your head, a ball I chuck.

You need to duck, You need to duck.

If I chuck and you don't duck,

What the fuck! What the Fuck?