Being hormonal

The universe inside my head knows me for being super-volatile, specially when it comes to my body's expression of emotions. What all the gibberish in the previous line means is that I have ABSOLUTELY NO Control over the rampant, and rather frequent emotional outbursts. Right now, I happen to be in an absolutely fantastic mood. So before I start swinging with my moods, I'll let you in on an epiphany that I had about 15 minutes ago. I could have written this post 15 minutes ago, but then, there wasn't a single accessible computer in my vicinity. Anyway, moving on with my epiphany...

Little do we realize how easy it is to let go of stuff we keep repressed inside ourselves. It is surely a lot easier than we think. Ever felt a helplessness within, that just seems to incapacitate your ability to think straight? And by thinking straight, I do not imply "thinking straight" in terms of sexual orientation. I have no clue why I went and specifically clarified that point. Moving on.

This thought you bear inside nags at you, irrespective of whatever it is that you are doing. And yes, it is wearing you down. For instance, in my case, there was this one issue that I held inside for a long time. I went blank more times than I could count, because I kept thinking about this issue I kept bottled inside. 

The usual advice you get, when dealing with bottled emotions is "Tell someone about it.". You know what? That's a load of bull. Or maybe, if that works for you, well and good. But what if your confidante isn't around?

We spend all our time running from feeling the way we feel, specially if we are feeling pathetic. There are also who deny themselves their happiness. Goodness knows why. The point is, instead of feeling miserable about feeling miserable, we should simply feel miserable all at once, instead of entering multiple levels of feeling miserable, like the levels of dreaming in the movie Inception. Wow! Did I just type the last line? Shit!

I saw that if you simply let your emotions engulf you, you get to realize that it is just a feeling you are going through. So feel it. Don't fight it. Let your body respond how it is meant to. And most importantly, I feel it is absolutely pointless to hold back tears. We feel that we are in control  when we can control our tears. And the bottled stuff manifests itself in some very unpleasant manner with consequences a lot worse than if you had let tears roll down your cheeks. 

Besides, tears really cleanse the soul. Yes, I am completely aware "tears cleanse the soul", the line is a cliché,  but it is true nevertheless. 

I was walking back with a very close friend of mine. He said something that really shook me a little. He said "I want someone to really hold me tight!". Well, he also said that he wanted someone to dry-hump him. I won't bother explaining the latter line that he told me. But the first line he uttered, shook me for a reason. I have felt the exact way myself. There are times I have wanted to grab hold of someone and hug them so tight that they can feel nothing on this planet can harm them. I've obviously wanted someone to hug me as tight, that I feel a bit safer. There is something about a tight embrace that completely drives all your insecurities away. That's why it is probably called "Jaadoo ki Jhappi".

I felt a bit miserable for not having hugged this friend of mine. It isn't like we haven't hugged each other tightly before. But yesterday, I was just plain dumb, I suppose. I don't know. Maybe next time, when you know someone dear to you is really upset, just hug him/her tight. Just thinking about hugging someone made me heave a sigh of relief. So you can wonder how it would feel for real!